Coming to terms

I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm slowly becoming a junkie. I'm a junior and I first got hlgh in 9th grade. It was from a dispo (we3d oil) and ik damn well I shoulda stopped when the first thing I thought was "this is staying with me". Since then I basically get hlgh any chance I get (everyday) and its so bad to the point i was hlgh every day of January 2024.

I haven't taken a longer break than 23 days beacuse I had to for a surgery, but it was hard asf cuz I cant stand being sober. I eventually got the surgery which was a month ago and was perscribed oxy for the pain. Since I couldn't access we3d cuz i was bedridden, my dumbass heard abt oxy and and decided to take more than prescribed and I finished 5 days worth of meds in 2 days (do not recommend). After that, I decided to try to get hlgh on one of my other medications which are for seizures and it actually worked. I've been tempted to take more of them, but held back. And recently, since I don't have weed, i decided it would be a good idea to st3al alcoh0l (ik I'm dumb asff) and I drank ts and hated it(second time drlnklng ever). Idk what my life has come to, but I just needed to get that off my chest. I told myself that I would never abuse my seizure meds again or st3al alcoh0l, but idk if I can bring myself to stop sm0king since everyone around me does and i can't go through a school day being sober If u have a similar experience, please share. If u want to give me tips, please do