how do you let go of a person

okay itll sound really stupid off the get go but i became friends with my ex like 2 months after the break up after he went no contact. we've established we love each other still at least and we'll get together when we're older/when "he achieves everything he wants to achieve"... problem is idk if i could see that anymore.

theres definitely a lot of guilt because i treat him like crap during our relationship (though it went both ways and we were just very mean to each other) and i know hes changed because of me but i just feel like we'd be incompatible already. my feelings arent an issue bcs tbh i genuinely feel like i just dont love him anymore due to the fact i know hes became someone i font recognize anymore and i can genuinely see myself single and a bit happy and i can easily picture a future where im just on my own and have a baby through ivf and id be content and at peace.

but i guess im just a bit sad because hes familiar to me and were friends... and i feel like its just a wasted relationship. again its probably because of the guilt but i so badly want to let go but i just cant... does anyone whove went through a similar experience have advice? i cant really ask my friends for advice because they sort of not like him when he broke up w me one day randomly and theyll throttle me if they learn im on friendly terms w him lmao