I have started to become desensitized to grape in fiction

No, like before, long before, If I found out that a book has, non con behaviour, even mild teasing, a peck on the cheek—I would lose my shit. But now I can easily skim through the panels without even realizing what is actually going on in that scene.
I don't like whats becoming of me and I only realized that after rereading nerd project today. It's so sexy, so good and still manages to give me the butterflies with no non con scene in it. There is a lack of such books in general or in my space at least. Whatever I keep getting recommended is the same bull, like idk, I don't want to shame anyone, but I don't want to be desensitized to this shit. But at the same time I want to read what others are reading and most of it is grape.
I don't want these scenes to affect me mentally, but I also want to be able to enjoy works that most people enjoy, and unfortunately these types of works seem to be in demand. Idk what to do. On one hand I want to read what everyone is reading. But I also don't like the ick it gives me, I want more works without any of the grape shit. It used to be like this even when I was in school and me and my friends used to read wattpad and I didn't like bad boys, I didn't like mafias at that time, and I hated stupid girls who fell for their man after he had assaulted them. What I hated even more were people, my friends who used to find this shit hot. I couldn't tell them and when I did they always said that I was trying to be different. I just didn't like people who molested others and the shit that was popular on wattpad back in the day(idk about now) was just that. Constant slut shaming, harrasment, two timing mfs, playboys these things used to be so popular amongst my friends. I felt so left out, All the people around me liked these these books with these problematic tropes. A part of me wanted go be in on the fun. They looked like they were having so much fun. Then one of my friends once told me that "it was just fiction and it wasn't affecting anybody", so years later when I started reading bl, I initially skipped such panels but now I have become so used to it. My brain doesn't even ring any alarms like it used to while reading such stuff. It only comes to me late at night when I replay the events of my day. Idk what to do. I want to read more works like nerd project and netkama punch. Stories like these make me realize that you can have chemistry between your characters without having one of them literally be a grapist.