Do you miss someone even if they had hurt you?

Just vent---
I fee like my bf could've stayed a good person and still be loving if a certain incident didnt happen to me. Im still curious about him. I still love him. Even though he had hurt me so much, part of me still misses those good things about him. I know that "He's made mistakes, he's only a human." can't apply to him but i miss him. It genuinely breaks my heart seeing some people try their best to make things right but they're not met halfway while i wish someone had done that to me. I wish he had treated me better when he noticed i was hurting but instead he chose his paranoia of me cheating. He was so afraid of me abandoning him.

Everything he thought i would be mad at was something i could have just forgiven. Instead of just apologising he was like "i did this for you. Dont abandon me or you will regret it". Our relationship was never at stake but he was fucking paranoid.

ps: stop misgendering me btw im a dude