Creative Insults?

I'm bored, throw some creative insults at me you made up yourself, heard/saw, are from a movie or tv show, etc. Anything.

Looking for stuff like:

- I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire.
- Go deep-throat a cactus.
- It's improper to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
- How can I help you... besides luring children into a panel van?
- You look like Freddy Krueger face-f*cked a topographical map of Utah.

Something creative and stuff that can work as a reply to some really dumb comments.