Guy how do I just off myself

I was reading a bl and phone came and I gave my phone to my brother and on my screen, was a shot of a man's dick inside another man's ass no face just that shot, he is literally a conservative guy raised in a traditional home, he is been looking at me weird ignoring me and being disgusted and I can't handle this anxiety bro, why did this happen and when I went on reddit , everyone just started hating me..
Bro not everyone is well off and an American whose family is okay with everything as long as they explain Im dying from thinking what do I do
I'm 19 incase you think my age is a problem