Just Venting feel free to ignore ill be ok after this again just venting

Lately, I feel like I’m always the one carrying the heavier load in my family.

With my younger sibling, it doesn’t matter who’s at fault. If they hurt me emotionally or if I hurt them, I still end up being the one who feels burdened, while they seem unaffected. I also feel like I always lose when we argue because I can’t find the right words, and they always sound like they’re right. In the end, I’m left feeling like I’m the bad one between us—not friendly, hard to deal with, not good at communicating, and not smart.

It also feels like I bring a gloomy vibe wherever I go. I don’t know how to cheer people up, and sometimes I think others get awkward when I’m around. It makes me feel like I’m dragging people down without meaning to.

Sometimes I wonder—why me? Why do I feel more affected when it comes to mental health compared to others? Why do I end up carrying so much, even when it’s not all my fault?

And honestly, it feels like I’m the only one making a big deal out of things. I find myself crying secretly in my room. I don’t even know exactly why—I just feel like crying. I might have an idea of the reason, but I can’t put it into words.