Yaoi gods please help me

So I live in a very conservative, Muslim country. Literally almost everyone here is homophobic. No one knows that I read BL. My parents would probably be shocked to the cire and kick me out or beat me to death the moment they found out I’m reading about two guys fucking. They’re planning to get me married off next year to some random guy, and I’ve kind of just accepted it as my fate , but the real problem starts after that.

I’m seriously worried about whether I’ll still be able to read my yaoi or not, because I’m obsessed with it. I don’t think I can ever live without it. And I have no idea how my future husband would react if he finds out, since we’ll basically be together 24/7. Honestly, this shit scares me more than Allah.

Is it just me, or has anyone else ever felt like this? And is there anyone married whose husband is a homophobe but still doesn’t care if you read about two guys fucking? Or is it even possible to keep reading without them ever finding out? I really need some help and advice.