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Irrationally angry..
Well irrationally angry doesnt really match but I cant think of another word to describe it. I find myself getting angry and annoyed thinking about/seeing someone I used to be friends with. We had been friends for years and up until this year, maybe like late last year things were fine. I noticed they were becoming quite short with me, not really responding to me or cutting me off when speaking sometimes. They had this tone with me and their body language just really made it seem like they disliked me.
I talked to them about it over text and they said they just didnt like the way I acted bc I acted like another one of my friends they dislike bc she's 'cringe'. Everytime I think about our friendship and the way I was treated towards the end makes me so mad. Like I was literally there for nearly EVERYTHING. I was fine with us drifting apart bc we are becoming different people and dont really share alot of the same views anyways. But thinking about how they couldn't just be nice even if they dislike how I speak or express myself is sooo fucking infuriating.
I was literally there when she was a DSMP fan! I was there for when she cosplayed them! I thought it was a bit weird but I wasnt fucking mean! I was literally there and supporting her that whole time when she was getting bullied. I just dont get how she could be like that to me. It makes me resent her and hate everything she does. And I dont want to be this way, but I just cant stop feeling it.
It makes me feel nuts bc its sometimes just her presence which makes me feel angry (same friendgroup and in the same classes, cant really not see her until the years over.) It makes me think really mean things about her and I dont want to think them. Bc thats not who I think I am but the thoughts are just there. I try my best to act normal and be nice when we do interact but sometimes I think it comes through alittle bit in my tone or my words.
Idk what to do, I dont want to become mean and have these bad thoughts. It makes me feel like im a bad person but I literally can't stop them.
I think ur not wrong for feeling that, like u can't control how u feel about something, and i think its rly something to look up to that you're trying to be nice and normal with her despite how she was. Because not many people actually do that (which isn't always wrong), anyway back to the point I think having the thoughts are fine and everything j...... reply
