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helpme deal with my friend (long post)
so uhm i got this one friend whos diagnosed with bpd and depression. we met online but ive seen them multiple times irl so i did consider them as one of my friends.
so just a while ago they bursted out to me bcs they noticed that i removed them from my private social media account. i explained that i removed them plus all my other friends because i want to delete it (i dont rlly use that account except for game clips and shitpost). they kept on saying that they feel left out and i dont consider them as my friend etc. they also mention that they feel lonely bcs i didnt text much and they thought im distancing myself away bcs i hate them or smth. i explained myself so hard that theyre important in my life and i didnt even hate them one bit. rn they dont reply to any of my text and im getting anxious.
i know this is not about that account and all but i did think that this is kinda my fault for making them feel that way bcs im a bit closer to another of my friend but in the same circle. i mean the closeness is only in the surface bcs we dont even talk that much except when we’re in game. i genuinely never think of it a big of a deal bcs i rlly enjoy being w them both equally but ig the other one think otherwise.
just to be clear, i genuinely think that removing someone from a social media isnt a bit of a deal(they also had one that they think i didnt know but i lowkirkenuinely dont care.) i did think they react like that bcs i was more closer to idk if its important to mention this but im also not a big fan of texting constantly. i can go days or months of not interacting with my friends and i can still talk to them normally. i did say this to them multiple times, that im not a big fan of texting constantly, but ig reassurance is rlly a big part of their life.
i feel like im obligated to stay by their side atm but this is not the first time that they burst out like this so its rlly starting to burn me out. i asked others for their opinion but i think that i need stranger’s opinion on this bcs i rlly rlly dont know how to feel. plsplspls help me out TT
as someone diagnosed with both bpd and depression (& anxiety disorder), i understand both sides, because i know i would feel the same as them (the imagination of being hated, disliked etc. starts rolling immediately in situations like this, especially online), but also same as you, because i tend to isolate myself (esp. when my mind isn’t in the ...... reply
Don't blame yourself , I think your friend is too mentally unstable If I'm bluntly speaking. Mental health is surely important, and but sometimes there's limits. I am kinda like that, I overthink on the smallest things and being left out but that led to a huge fall out with my friends who end up hating me. I don't really blame them, I was unstable....... reply
You have to set boundaries for yourself because who else will? You have one single life, and don’t think for even a second that you have enough time to spend on doing something you don’t like or want to do. However, I don’t think this matter was *that* serious, but if issues like these continue to persist, I suggest taking a break from this f...... reply
Oh wow I cannot believe I'd encounter someone so much like me out in the wild. There really isn't one way to handle this, and it largely depends on the answers to several questions
1. How genuinely did you feel that they're important to your life? Would you feel like you've lost something if you become estranged
2. How close are you irl? Do you a...... reply
It’s never worth wasting your time on someone who lashes out on you for simple things, don’t stay by their side.
This is quite manipulative of them if you ask me, and your mental health is always put first, if you continue to tolerate their bs they’ll get bolder and I think the best course of action is to just cut off contact with this pers...... 2 reply
You can't manage your friend's feelings or the impact their mental health issues have on how they perceive things. You explained yourself, you tried to reassure them. It's up to them to listen and believe you're being honest and trustworthy or to get the help they need if that's not something they can do right now because their perception of realit...... reply
