why does he keep coming back

why does my lowkey evil situationship (male) keeps coming back bruv, we haven't interacted for almost a month and I thought I was a free woman.

for context we're the same age (I fear it's hets boring I know but bear with me) we knew each other from our mutual friends on discord community long short story we got rlly close and knew about each other a lot, I deadass thought we were soulmate yknow, meant to be since we have so much in common (we were aiming for the same goal too) we do that boring situationship activity such as playing games together, spend time together (online of course), study together, and have those late night deep talks or whatever.

I developed some feelings for him high key, mind you I was never a relationship sucker person (I never dated anyone before) but man he's pretty gentle with words, never speak little of me and always keeps me at bay whenever I'm feeling down (did I say he's lowkey fine?) the point is I wanted to shoot my shot but I'm was afraid and don't know how to do it since I'm never good at expressing my feelings (I believe in 'women don't chase' mindset, don't slime me)

eventually I never did, I was insecure and unsure because of his mixed signals and don't wanna make a fool of myself and lost my self-respect.

well life happens and we fell apart, he barely text me back and he got pretty cold at some points, I got so depressed and sad because of that haha wtf, after that I don't reach first out again

almost half a year pass, entrance college examination season came and he texted me again!!! he wanted to study together again and I thought I was free!! just pull me out of my misery