Autism

There are some people who have told me to get myself checked for autism, as I have displayed some unique behaviors. But is it rlly worth it to get myself tested??? I've heard that if u get tested positive of autism, it will make it significantly harder to get jobs. Also, what will I even gain from knowing too?? Sure, I would definitely finally feel at peace knowing I'm not weird, or even feel out of place... Idkkk TT

And honestly, even I have thought of myself as one too... I know it's wrong to self diagnosed, but I can't help it when I so clearly see I don't fit anywhere.

Also, these are some of behaviors that my friend convinced me that there's a high chance that I'm autistic too.

I have so many sensory issues, can't stand certain textures, ESPECIALLY tissues. Can't stand certain clothes, some of them makes my teeth hurt, or just overall makes me feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable. Can't stand styrofoam and chalk, it was HELLL whenever I had to go upfront and write on the board... Can't stand concrete, it also hurts my teeth. Can't stand listening to music a lot, it literally HURTS and i desperately wish I was like the others who can constantly listen to music everyday. The longest I can stand is probably 30mins. I hate getting my feet and hands wet, just not fun at all. I have a strong sense of smell, and it rlly bothers me how I am the only one who can smell something. I have to constantly be on guard and change my entire behavior when it comes to other people, so as to not seem "weird" or mean. I have a uh idk how to properly say this, but it's like steps(??) of eating. First, I don't want my rice and food to touch. I need my food to be placed in a separate plate. Secondly, if I have regular rice and fried rice, fried rice(the better one, or my favorite) has to be on the top of my regular rice. And then, I have to carefully gather every bits and pieces of my meal(little bit of rice, fried rice, chicken, veggie, etc) and eat it in one bite so I can eat.. everything at once. And, lastly, for the last bite, if my food is for example, hotdogs, I have to keep the ends of the hotdog and eat it for last. For chicken too, I have to keep some of the skin and meat. And many many more...

Anyways, this message is getting too long. Sorry!!