patheticwhinypos desperate ass bitch badly needs a "friend ship" advice (im the pathetic ass bitch)

I am so so so so fucking sorry that you met me, Rain.

Hi, please dont read this if you don't wanna waste your time on this stupid shit, i dont know where else i can get any advice or how i can just let this all out, im in my period rn so my emotions are all over the place.

I badly wanna block my friend, she's the 2nd friend that i currently
have rn, and basically only have 2 ppl i talk to that i can consider a friend, we've been drifting away so much for the past few months ever since her and her ex got back in contact with each other, she told me THAT ex of her immediately went back to her ex bf right after they broke up with eachother, and at first, i was really happy that they got back in contact cause i genuinely sensed that she needed someone on her side as a romantic partner, and get this, at this time i was head over heels to my FIRST friend, turns out it was just limerence cause im a fucking looosseeerrr (gasp, what a shocker) so i guess that's only the reason/s why i felt happy that they were starting to reconnect again (yeah im a pos) but when the months/weeks (?) passed by, we really started drifting away from each other so fucking badly, and im guessing the turning point was when my 2nd friend told me that her ex was getting jealous of ME (she said that i wasn't the only person that she got jealous of) so i guess i just immediately stopped (?) talking to her as often than i did back then, and oh god, our conversations back when she wasn't with her ex lasted for hours, and when she and her ex started to talk again, our conversations only lasted for a mere minute, and that fucking hurt me so fucking much, that i even told her i cried when she left me in the middle of our conversation again, and wow, when i said that, that was the only time where our conversation lasted for 30 mins in such (was it really?) a long time ever since the whole fiasco, and now, the only thing that i feel for her i just absolutely fucking hatred, i now even get mad when i see her reposting shits on tiktok that's about my interests, i don't hate her ex or such, i fucking hate myself and her, i hate that she made me feel like i was special, i loved every single bit of our conversations, and she just threw me away when her ex reached out to her, i know that ive always been a replaceable piece of shit and utter garbage, but it still fucking hurts, and i even thought that she had a crush on me....? god how delusional can i even be? and even though, i still kept "flirting" with her (what if i was right even if its such a small chance that actually happened?), and because of that i know that i don't deserve to cry about her like this, im planning tomorrow that i should just either block her without any explanations, or if i should include an explanation, so in summary, im the fucking bitch who deserves to die, and she's just the victim in this "story". (im asking for advice if you think i should kms, or just block her without saying anything, or block her including an explanation, she and her ex officially got together in april 16th, and her bdays on the 29th) Feel free to send me death threats or whatever.