Anyone else notice when stories do this?

So I've been reading more remarriage stories and I've noticed a really common theme among them that's starting to rub me the wrong way. It's when FL's are still virgins after 2, 4, 5, 10+ years of marriage (in case they go back in time). It might be a little controversial, and of course I'm not saying the just because you're married you have to sleep with your husband. Of course not. It's when I read stories where FL loves her husband (I'm just generalizing so I'm not gonna name any examples) and wants him but nothing happens even in like a throwaway sentence or something, it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Even more so when Authors will come up with the most convoluted reasons to have FL's come out of marriage a virgin ex: "he just didn't find me hot" that's clearly not true because all it took was you changing your hair or outfit Disney style to make him drool over you. It really reminds me of Purity Culture where women(FL's) must stay pure virginal angels who must never be touched by anyone but their soulmate even when they're already married and into the man they're with AT THE MOMENT (I'm not going to get into why that's toxic I think it's pretty self explanatory). This is especially clear in the lower quality more "mass produced" (if that makes any sense) stories where FL is with the ML and the energy is immediately so much different. I guess what I'm trying to say is I wish stories would be a little bit more realistic about things and stop pushing virgin FL's. I'm just picking on remarriage because that's the one that makes the least sense to me right now. I know I'm not wording it the best but I want to know if anyone else understands.