A fandom that feels like a prison

What's a fandom felt like a prison of your own making?

I never loved and regretted something at the same time like how I'm with SatoSugu. It's been 5 years, I'm still crying about them. Still the same lockscreen, literally what I see first in the morning is them being miserable, then I would feel miserable too. But there's this force that I can't change it. I see at least 1 edit about them every time I open social medias. I hate it here...