I'm an Introvert female and I have a problem because I think I'm too addicted on anime, manga and novels.What used to be my coping mechanism is now my addiction. For context I was bullied at a very young age because of my looks until college. As in Every day I read or watch animes and mangas to help me to numb the pain. I realize that I din't build a circle of friends or networks because I keep running to the anime world whenever I feel lonely, sad or bored. I know this is the result of my decisions. I just wanted to vent out because I really don't know how to connect to people my age. I'm a female neet I've already graduated in college as an information technology. But I din't try working because I'm scared that I won't fit in with coworkers circle. Right now I really want to change my views and be brave.
Thank you guys for commenting on my post it helped me realize that I'm not the only one and each one of us has their own struggles. I really din't expect that it will be noticed because I just want to vent out. I will apply the knowledge and advice you guys said. Again, I hope in the next post I can finally say "I did it, I Overcome" Again Thank you guys
I’m sorry to hear that’s happening. I’m lowkey the same like I don’t have hobbies outside of consuming manwha, but I’m trying to change that. I’m sorry to hear about your past. I also relate that I never built any lasting friendships, but it was a lack of effort on my part because I was so used to isolating myself. I also graduated college recently in computer science. The point of my comment is I don’t think you should believe things are the end. You will not always have the NEET label. You just need to believe in yourself because I’m sure even if all these stories are comforting, at a certain point you might even get bored of them too from the sheer volume and how most of them tend to be formulaic. You managed to apply to college and graduate. The job process is not all that different so you can definitely do it. Maybe try to take things slow like try to walk outside for a bit at least once every few days. I understand your insecurities are related to ur looks and I think skincare/fashion/haircut do build confidence. I also have social anxiety and feel self conscious about my looks. So making small changes like that helped me. Maybe instead of going straight to anime, try listening to music or do meditation. I definitely feel meditation has helped me. Like try to be more aware of the sensations in your body as you breathe. Idk how to explain it well, but it diverts your attention. You could pick up other hobbies like drawing, origami, lego, puzzles, biking, cooking, etc. I still am in the process of figuring things out myself. I feel nervous going outside or when I have to talk to people. I don’t really know how to connect either because I’m really quiet. I don’t know… I’m just taking things one at a time. First, I’ll fix my habits and take care of my health. Second, I’ll find a job. Third, I’ll find hobbies outside of media consumption. Fourth, I’ll figure out how to get better at conversing and feeling more comfortable outside. So, I’m saying please don’t give up on trying to change.
I don’t know how much of this will help, but after years of watching classroom dynamics among students aged 19 - 22, there are certain patterns I keep noticing when it comes to who tends to build friendships and become part of groups, and who tends to fall outside. As a lecturer I cannot get involved, but eventually it's hard not to notice...
1. Learn to tolerate small inconveniences and awkward moments. They’re normal. Try not to repeatedly bring them up to the group in search of reassurance, even jokingly. A lot of relationships are built on small, mutually accepted inconveniences, compromises, and moments of discomfort. I would suggest reflecting on what level of awkwardness or uncertainty you can simply let exist without needing immediate validation.
2. A common mistake is wanting to belong so badly that you open up too quickly or try to create emotional intimacy before the relationship has naturally reached that stage. This can unintentionally make other people feel pressured or overwhelmed (and this really differs from person to person, which makes it even harder to estimate the time needed for the relationship to be built). When they pull away, it can feel deeply personal, even though often they’re reacting to the intensity rather than rejecting you as a person.
3. I would also say don’t try too hard to fit in. People can usually sense when someone is over-performing socially, and it often creates tension instead of connection. Being more relaxed I think works better than trying to engineer belonging.
4. Keep your interests, but (and this might be a deeply unpopular suggestion) learn how to present them in a more socially accessible way at first. Don’t immediately lead with the strangest or most niche things you’re into that you're reading on mmg. Start with the more relatable parts, like, tell people how much you love Spirited Away, not the most obscure rabbit hole you disappeared into at 3 a.m. People usually need time to build familiarity before “weird” starts feeling charming rather than unsettling. (I once had a student who from the very first class dressed up as Snape from Harry Potter, and brought a massive hand-held wooden Snape puppet. For context: we're talking first session of an econ course at uni. Very brave.)
5. Diversify your interests. Go to a ceramics workshop, a book fair, a film screening, a hiking group, start baking... just do anything. Activities make life more fun, but they also give you experiences, stories, and perspectives that make conversations flow more naturally.
6. Have some sense of direction, even if it’s vague. You don’t need a perfect five-year plan, but it helps to be curious about something, interested in something, moving toward something. Most people eventually struggle to sustain relationships where they feel they are constantly pouring emotional energy into someone who only absorbs it without bringing much back into the exchange. Relationships tend to last longer when both people bring substance, curiosity, energy, or growth into them.
7. And finally, accept invitations. If it's an activity you cannot afford, counter it with an invitation for a group run or a hike or smth. I know it will be uncomfortable since you're not used to it, but insert yourself into the events and activities. It signals availability socially.
Anyway, feel free to disregard anything that doesn't sound doable to you, and I hope that at least something is helpful. Good luck!!
Just wanted you to know if you ever want to just talk to anyone or just wanted to vent to someone im letting you know i can always listen! Consuming content has always been my coping mechanisms too. It's crazy how the beauty standards are fit in the real world while we are just human beings trying to just live or trying to be just being! At first they intrigued me I was curious and excited to know many things and it felt so cool being in so many fandoms but I don't know when it became the only source of a little excitement just to feel alive while I find myself alone in the real world without having no friends! Now any type of human connection i make just feels so heavy and a burden! I completed my bachelor's as well and I'm currently unemployed. Day by day i realise how stupid human connections are and our very urge to form any kind of attachment as if we can't live without it while couldn't find a single person who truly makes us feel human or make us feel any kind of emotion! Now that I'm saying all this it feels like a competition but wanted to let you know you are not alone in this! I'm leaving my Instagram account if you ever just wanna reach out to someone. @hoecializing
we have all been there girl! for a period i was also a loner and didnt have anyone to talk to, i'd suggest this: come a little out of your comfort zone, try working, talk to people around the community, be friendly in general.. it's the little gestures that matter, smiling & waving when you see a familiar face, wishing good morning etc. and people will warm up to you! and dont worry about fitting in cause it'll happen naturally
Messages
Thank you guys for commenting on my post it helped me realize that I'm not the only one and each one of us has their own struggles. I really din't expect that it will be noticed because I just want to vent out. I will apply the knowledge and advice you guys said. Again, I hope in the next post I can finally say "I did it, I Overcome" Again Thank you guys
I’m sorry to hear that’s happening. I’m lowkey the same like I don’t have hobbies outside of consuming manwha, but I’m trying to change that. I’m sorry to hear about your past. I also relate that I never built any lasting friendships, but it was a lack of effort on my part because I was so used to isolating myself. I also graduated college recently in computer science. The point of my comment is I don’t think you should believe things are the end. You will not always have the NEET label. You just need to believe in yourself because I’m sure even if all these stories are comforting, at a certain point you might even get bored of them too from the sheer volume and how most of them tend to be formulaic. You managed to apply to college and graduate. The job process is not all that different so you can definitely do it. Maybe try to take things slow like try to walk outside for a bit at least once every few days. I understand your insecurities are related to ur looks and I think skincare/fashion/haircut do build confidence. I also have social anxiety and feel self conscious about my looks. So making small changes like that helped me. Maybe instead of going straight to anime, try listening to music or do meditation. I definitely feel meditation has helped me. Like try to be more aware of the sensations in your body as you breathe. Idk how to explain it well, but it diverts your attention. You could pick up other hobbies like drawing, origami, lego, puzzles, biking, cooking, etc. I still am in the process of figuring things out myself. I feel nervous going outside or when I have to talk to people. I don’t really know how to connect either because I’m really quiet. I don’t know… I’m just taking things one at a time. First, I’ll fix my habits and take care of my health. Second, I’ll find a job. Third, I’ll find hobbies outside of media consumption. Fourth, I’ll figure out how to get better at conversing and feeling more comfortable outside. So, I’m saying please don’t give up on trying to change.
I don’t know how much of this will help, but after years of watching classroom dynamics among students aged 19 - 22, there are certain patterns I keep noticing when it comes to who tends to build friendships and become part of groups, and who tends to fall outside. As a lecturer I cannot get involved, but eventually it's hard not to notice...
1. Learn to tolerate small inconveniences and awkward moments. They’re normal. Try not to repeatedly bring them up to the group in search of reassurance, even jokingly. A lot of relationships are built on small, mutually accepted inconveniences, compromises, and moments of discomfort. I would suggest reflecting on what level of awkwardness or uncertainty you can simply let exist without needing immediate validation.
2. A common mistake is wanting to belong so badly that you open up too quickly or try to create emotional intimacy before the relationship has naturally reached that stage. This can unintentionally make other people feel pressured or overwhelmed (and this really differs from person to person, which makes it even harder to estimate the time needed for the relationship to be built). When they pull away, it can feel deeply personal, even though often they’re reacting to the intensity rather than rejecting you as a person.
3. I would also say don’t try too hard to fit in. People can usually sense when someone is over-performing socially, and it often creates tension instead of connection. Being more relaxed I think works better than trying to engineer belonging.
4. Keep your interests, but (and this might be a deeply unpopular suggestion) learn how to present them in a more socially accessible way at first. Don’t immediately lead with the strangest or most niche things you’re into that you're reading on mmg. Start with the more relatable parts, like, tell people how much you love Spirited Away, not the most obscure rabbit hole you disappeared into at 3 a.m. People usually need time to build familiarity before “weird” starts feeling charming rather than unsettling. (I once had a student who from the very first class dressed up as Snape from Harry Potter, and brought a massive hand-held wooden Snape puppet. For context: we're talking first session of an econ course at uni. Very brave.)
5. Diversify your interests. Go to a ceramics workshop, a book fair, a film screening, a hiking group, start baking... just do anything. Activities make life more fun, but they also give you experiences, stories, and perspectives that make conversations flow more naturally.
6. Have some sense of direction, even if it’s vague. You don’t need a perfect five-year plan, but it helps to be curious about something, interested in something, moving toward something. Most people eventually struggle to sustain relationships where they feel they are constantly pouring emotional energy into someone who only absorbs it without bringing much back into the exchange. Relationships tend to last longer when both people bring substance, curiosity, energy, or growth into them.
7. And finally, accept invitations. If it's an activity you cannot afford, counter it with an invitation for a group run or a hike or smth. I know it will be uncomfortable since you're not used to it, but insert yourself into the events and activities. It signals availability socially.
Anyway, feel free to disregard anything that doesn't sound doable to you, and I hope that at least something is helpful. Good luck!!
Just wanted you to know if you ever want to just talk to anyone or just wanted to vent to someone im letting you know i can always listen! Consuming content has always been my coping mechanisms too. It's crazy how the beauty standards are fit in the real world while we are just human beings trying to just live or trying to be just being! At first they intrigued me I was curious and excited to know many things and it felt so cool being in so many fandoms but I don't know when it became the only source of a little excitement just to feel alive while I find myself alone in the real world without having no friends! Now any type of human connection i make just feels so heavy and a burden! I completed my bachelor's as well and I'm currently unemployed. Day by day i realise how stupid human connections are and our very urge to form any kind of attachment as if we can't live without it while couldn't find a single person who truly makes us feel human or make us feel any kind of emotion! Now that I'm saying all this it feels like a competition but wanted to let you know you are not alone in this! I'm leaving my Instagram account if you ever just wanna reach out to someone. @hoecializing
Wow, I felt like I was reading about myself...Σ( ￣□￣||)
we have all been there girl! for a period i was also a loner and didnt have anyone to talk to, i'd suggest this: come a little out of your comfort zone, try working, talk to people around the community, be friendly in general.. it's the little gestures that matter, smiling & waving when you see a familiar face, wishing good morning etc. and people will warm up to you! and dont worry about fitting in cause it'll happen naturally