Saw someone mention cocsa and I searched it up just now and I kind of just realized I'm both a victim and a perpetrator. And I feel so guilty, ill just admit it here in this site because no one knows me here. For some reason all the stuff that I went through flashed jn my head, the night before my 7th birthday. I remember my 11 yo uncle touching me while I was "asleep" I wasn't really asleep though because I was excited for my birthday, and throughout all the day during my bday i felt like telling an adult or a close friend that time but my mouth felt so shut, everytime I tried opening my mouth to tell someone what I went through my body repelled on its own. I knew that it was wrong like when I remembered that scenario a few years ago when I was around 15 but I didnt consider it as sexual harassment since my uncle was just 11 years old. And im only finding out now that i truly was a victim and not just that I also remember when I was around 8-9 years old, after I learned how to "pleasure" myself. I used to be excited and pull my sister with me who's around 3-4 years old and taught her how to touch herself and im like just remembering this TODAY. I feel so fucking guilty I want to say sorry to my sister but I doubt she remembers it ahhahahahha fuck broooooo. I feel disgusting what the hell was I on back then
It's good that you feel guilty because you recognize it has something bad. You were just finding out about your body and didn't know about the harm of it so don't feel too much guilt. I'm a cocsa victim and i forgive the first person who sa'd me specifically because of our ages at the time we were young and i doubt they ever wanted to actually harm me they were just curious. But again just because i forgive someone doesn't mean everyone will. I'm unsure if you should tell your sister but i think perhaps you should try talking about this with a therapist to find ways to deal with the guilt
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Please do not tell her like you would do her a big favour
It's good that you feel guilty because you recognize it has something bad. You were just finding out about your body and didn't know about the harm of it so don't feel too much guilt. I'm a cocsa victim and i forgive the first person who sa'd me specifically because of our ages at the time we were young and i doubt they ever wanted to actually harm me they were just curious. But again just because i forgive someone doesn't mean everyone will. I'm unsure if you should tell your sister but i think perhaps you should try talking about this with a therapist to find ways to deal with the guilt