Anyone here got a doormat friend? I literally cannot stand it anymore.
Short story short, I have a friend who has a crush on this dude and omfg... This dude is literally so fucking horrible. Not only that, she's like 18, and he's around 14 or 15. No matter what u say to her, she never gets it to her head that he's horrible AND THAT ITS JUST NOT RIGHT. It's not confirmed that she has a crush on him, but I could just tellllllllll... Cuz mind u, this guy is so racist(she's black) and she always forgives him. Till now, I didn't even know she still talked with this dude till I saw them together. I'm genuinely pissed, it's like all that talk I had with her is nothing.
Ignoring and dismissing targeted racism is fucking INSANE work. Normally I would say staying friends with a racist and dismissing their actions also makes you racist, but can she even be racist toward her own self?? This guy doesn’t even seem to like her at all, is it just her ignoring his behavior and wanting to be friends with him anyway? It doesn’t seem like he considers her a friend. It’s also kinda icky for an 18yo to try to be friends with someone that young
i would confront her. Ask her why shes so intrested in this guy and willing to forgive him for being an awful person. She'll probably deny it and come up with all sorts of reasons to justify herself, and to that i say shes a weird bitch and you should ditch her. Personally, I dont have time for people like that and never will. Shes blindsided by whatever weird pedo love she has for him and the validation she gets aswell from it. I say leave them to it. Birds of a feather flock together.
I'm thinking of rlly cutting ties with her. But I wanna have one more conversation with her, and it's there's no helping her.. then ig I have to let her go.
Uhh, does she understand that she’s awful as well for liking an entire CHILD? Whether or not he’s horrible, that shouldn’t be the biggest problem here. If you’re trying to get her to wake tf up, it should be more about her and not him. I’m not saying he’s innocent or anything, but she’s a full-on predator if she’s 18 and doing that shit. Not trying to downplay the racism or whatever’s up with him, but wtaf is wrong with her?
No, again it's not confirmed that she likes him romantically. It's rlly just what my instincts r telling me. That's why I wasn't focused on that, it's more like she has this weird attachment to him.
And yes, I've alrdy hinted it to her but she just dodges and says they're not friends anymore.
No, again it's not confirmed that she likes him romantically. It's rlly just what my instincts r telling me. That's why I wasn't focused on that, it's more like she has this weird attachment to him. And yes, I'... YoBologna
Overlooked the not confirmed part, but yeah she just sounds delusional or something…either way it’s weird. Does she think she can “change him” or something? Idk, but I know people that refuse to listen to anyone’s input/opinion and even slightly consider if they’re ever in the wrong. Makes me want to rip my hair out
Overlooked the not confirmed part, but yeah she just sounds delusional or something…either way it’s weird. Does she think she can “change him” or something? Idk, but I know people that refuse to listen ... root
Right?? This guy had her HOOKED. I understand that it's basically her first ever guy friend, but omg it's actually making me mad. Personally, idk if she thinks she can change/fix him. It's like she acts like.. he has never done anything wrong. That's it. She just dismissed it. When I first told her how their relationship is not it at all(he was being such a brat and I hated him), she made excuses. And I witnessed it firsthand how he called her a monkey or said the new word, and obv I was furious and she and I had a talk but that talk is literally NOTHING since she still is friends with him.
Right?? This guy had her HOOKED. I understand that it's basically her first ever guy friend, but omg it's actually making me mad. Personally, idk if she thinks she can change/fix him. It's like she acts like.. ... YoBologna
(accidentally replied to the overall question, sorry for the duplicate) Ignoring and dismissing targeted racism is fucking INSANE work. Normally I would say staying friends with a racist and dismissing their actions also makes you racist, but can she even be racist toward her own self?? This guy doesn’t even seem to like her at all, is it just her ignoring his behavior and wanting to be friends with him anyway? It doesn’t seem like he considers her a friend. It’s also kinda icky for an 18yo to try to be friends with someone that young
(accidentally replied to the overall question, sorry for the duplicate) Ignoring and dismissing targeted racism is fucking INSANE work. Normally I would say staying friends with a racist and dismissing their ac... root
The kid does seem to like her to some extent, but DEFINITELY not romantically. He even makes fun of her and calls her a dinosaur.. implying she's old. He has tried it with me, but I rlly don't fw him and I think he immediately got the message lmao And honestly, idk if I can truly ever leave her alone. :/ I just think she's just rlly craving for some sort of male validation, and immediately latches on any "male" that shows some sort of interest to her. Ik this is shtty to say about a friend, but I fr feel like I'm the only one who wants her to end it with him. All my other friends seem to just not see it and I just don't want to go to her and accuse her of being a pedo when she hasn't rlly physically done anything, and it's more so just my instinct and observations of her.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks like this I feel so gaslighted for even thinking that I feel bad for her.. idk what to do anymore.
The kid does seem to like her to some extent, but DEFINITELY not romantically. He even makes fun of her and calls her a dinosaur.. implying she's old. He has tried it with me, but I rlly don't fw him and I thin... YoBologna
That dude probably enjoys having some older girl talking to him too if I had to guess. It’s crazy that you’re the only one in your friend group thinking that something’s off. I think it’s 100% fair to cut ties with her over this, but I fully relate to being the friend that’s almost like the “therapist” trying to keep all my friends on track and not wanting to leave them. I have real bad people-pleaser tendencies and I’m always trying to help people, so I’ve been there done that.
Based on what I’ve heard, idk if there’s anything you can do to get through to her. And if this is something that’s exhausting you, which it clearly is, I would try not to bother yourself with it. Maybe try confronting her one more time, but at the end of the day she’s an adult. You tried expressing your concern, and I feel like a good friend would at least consider it. You shouldn’t have to be responsible for her inappropriate behavior
That dude probably enjoys having some older girl talking to him too if I had to guess. It’s crazy that you’re the only one in your friend group thinking that something’s off. I think it’s 100% fair to c... root
Yeah, thanks for the advice and hearing me out.
Also, I alrdy talked with her earlier and I could tell she's kinda getting fed up of me intervening, so honestly I'm just gonna see how this plays out. :/
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Ignoring and dismissing targeted racism is fucking INSANE work. Normally I would say staying friends with a racist and dismissing their actions also makes you racist, but can she even be racist toward her own self??
This guy doesn’t even seem to like her at all, is it just her ignoring his behavior and wanting to be friends with him anyway? It doesn’t seem like he considers her a friend. It’s also kinda icky for an 18yo to try to be friends with someone that young
i would confront her. Ask her why shes so intrested in this guy and willing to forgive him for being an awful person. She'll probably deny it and come up with all sorts of reasons to justify herself, and to that i say shes a weird bitch and you should ditch her. Personally, I dont have time for people like that and never will. Shes blindsided by whatever weird pedo love she has for him and the validation she gets aswell from it. I say leave them to it. Birds of a feather flock together.
I'm thinking of rlly cutting ties with her. But I wanna have one more conversation with her, and it's there's no helping her.. then ig I have to let her go.
Uhh, does she understand that she’s awful as well for liking an entire CHILD? Whether or not he’s horrible, that shouldn’t be the biggest problem here. If you’re trying to get her to wake tf up, it should be more about her and not him. I’m not saying he’s innocent or anything, but she’s a full-on predator if she’s 18 and doing that shit. Not trying to downplay the racism or whatever’s up with him, but wtaf is wrong with her?
No, again it's not confirmed that she likes him romantically. It's rlly just what my instincts r telling me. That's why I wasn't focused on that, it's more like she has this weird attachment to him.
And yes, I've alrdy hinted it to her but she just dodges and says they're not friends anymore.
Overlooked the not confirmed part, but yeah she just sounds delusional or something…either way it’s weird. Does she think she can “change him” or something? Idk, but I know people that refuse to listen to anyone’s input/opinion and even slightly consider if they’re ever in the wrong. Makes me want to rip my hair out
Right?? This guy had her HOOKED. I understand that it's basically her first ever guy friend, but omg it's actually making me mad. Personally, idk if she thinks she can change/fix him. It's like she acts like.. he has never done anything wrong. That's it. She just dismissed it. When I first told her how their relationship is not it at all(he was being such a brat and I hated him), she made excuses. And I witnessed it firsthand how he called her a monkey or said the new word, and obv I was furious and she and I had a talk but that talk is literally NOTHING since she still is friends with him.
(accidentally replied to the overall question, sorry for the duplicate)
Ignoring and dismissing targeted racism is fucking INSANE work. Normally I would say staying friends with a racist and dismissing their actions also makes you racist, but can she even be racist toward her own self??
This guy doesn’t even seem to like her at all, is it just her ignoring his behavior and wanting to be friends with him anyway? It doesn’t seem like he considers her a friend. It’s also kinda icky for an 18yo to try to be friends with someone that young
The kid does seem to like her to some extent, but DEFINITELY not romantically. He even makes fun of her and calls her a dinosaur.. implying she's old. He has tried it with me, but I rlly don't fw him and I think he immediately got the message lmao And honestly, idk if I can truly ever leave her alone. :/ I just think she's just rlly craving for some sort of male validation, and immediately latches on any "male" that shows some sort of interest to her. Ik this is shtty to say about a friend, but I fr feel like I'm the only one who wants her to end it with him. All my other friends seem to just not see it and I just don't want to go to her and accuse her of being a pedo when she hasn't rlly physically done anything, and it's more so just my instinct and observations of her.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks like this I feel so gaslighted for even thinking that I feel bad for her.. idk what to do anymore.
That dude probably enjoys having some older girl talking to him too if I had to guess. It’s crazy that you’re the only one in your friend group thinking that something’s off. I think it’s 100% fair to cut ties with her over this, but I fully relate to being the friend that’s almost like the “therapist” trying to keep all my friends on track and not wanting to leave them. I have real bad people-pleaser tendencies and I’m always trying to help people, so I’ve been there done that.
Based on what I’ve heard, idk if there’s anything you can do to get through to her. And if this is something that’s exhausting you, which it clearly is, I would try not to bother yourself with it. Maybe try confronting her one more time, but at the end of the day she’s an adult. You tried expressing your concern, and I feel like a good friend would at least consider it. You shouldn’t have to be responsible for her inappropriate behavior
Yeah, thanks for the advice and hearing me out.
Also, I alrdy talked with her earlier and I could tell she's kinda getting fed up of me intervening, so honestly I'm just gonna see how this plays out. :/