Need some advice and some opinions on it

Soooo like in March my boyfriend had broke up with after being with him for like a long time but like he broke it off was cause of his friends saying that I had cheated when I clearly wasn’t but like today we had played Roblox (ik it might be corny for me playing Roblox but it’s wtv) and so like we had played it because my friend she had told me if I wanted to play with her talking stage and with him, and at the time I didn’t really care because i was just playing for my friend and so she had told me in messages before she deleted it saying that he was going to play if I wanted to play (isn’t that weird??) but like she had sent me her and his chats and like he was scared to play with me, and I know it’s wrong for me to want him back after like what he would do to me during the relationship like ignoring me for days, not communicating with me and like yeah he treated me very well but it was certain things. And like I moved on from him maybe like for 2 months but I still yearn for him.. and even though there were some parts where I wasn’t treated good I still want him and like after playing with him I’m getting mixed feelings. And like I really can’t tell anybody this cause they would obviously get mad at me for wanting him back after treating me like shit but like I truly need some advice, opinions or like anything to help me… ╥﹏╥