Do you feel random waves of self-hatred?

I met someone who didn't understand existential crises. She said she had never had an existential crisis ONCE in her life. A while ago I told my brother "I hate when your ears start bleeding" and was surprised to learn that's not an everyday issue.

Just now, I was enjoying my time and an overwhelming hurt that I am myself washed over me. I wouldn't say I hate myself because I don't feel angry I just feel hurt that I am who I am and guilty for still existing. I just didn't know how else to word the question. I'm old enough now to recognize that it's not a productive thought and to just move on so it's not a problem really. But I started wondering if someone like that girl without existential crises exists but, instead of existential crises, they have never had a random wave of guilt crash into them. Then I wondered if maybe I'm the strange one for these thoughts like I am for having my ears bleed sometimes. (dw i figured out my ears lol) Anyway, don't answer if it'll make you unnecessarily sad thinking about it but I am curious how common it is to feel like you make the world worse when you're just chilling. Not because you did something you regret, because that's different but like even when youre laughing and having the time of your life that feeling will step in to remind you "don't be so happy you make a room less enjoyable because you're in it." Do you understand that feeling or do I sound like I am speaking nonsense?