I NEED MENTALLY CLEAR PEOPLE TO TELL ME IF IM CRAZY(reddit mentioned)
im not a redditor. ok well i am but only for about 4 years and i just ask about clothes, club acitivities, college, that kind of stuff you know? but occasionally, i go on there to rant/vent.
ive known for a while that reddit has a huge problem, so i dont know why this is getting to me so bad, but i HATE when people perceive me as something that is just not true!! so, i will share a post i contributed to r/vent, and follow with my problem.
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why is it... that when someone is interested in me and i become interested in them, and our doomed relationship inevitably fails (because im like material but never love material but i digress) THEY ALWAYS GO... "i like pale guys" OR, trying to discretely reject me just say some bullshit about some character trope they like but add "white" before it...?
WHY ARE YOU EVEN SPEAKING TO ME... ofc i have distanced myself from everyone who has said this to me already BUT WHY.... when a black person rejects a white person i assume theyd say outright if they have a preference for their own race before they have some kind of will they wont they, "ill flirt with you most days despite there being something so OFF about you i cant even see you past our 6th monthiversary" shenanigan situationship. or is it just a test run to see if you can handle someone of my complexion long term or if just the sight of something black alone will always make you SICK TO YOUR STOMACH!!!!
sure, there are plenty of things wrong with me, all of which i am aware of and do my best not to burden the people i care about, unless i am venting like i am now, and only with explicit permission. but i do not put that standard on everyone. for those i care about i am EXTREMELY tolerant. and sometimes people are like baby birds, delicate and need to be treated softly, and so i do not mind doing just that. but never.... NEVER.... in my life have i encountered someone who is just so sad, so miserable, so sensitive, and so STUCK in their ways yet STILL have the audacity to take my kindness, my generosity, my TAME TEMPER FOR GRANTED!!! you treat me like im hideous, and sometimes even like im dumb? i have a diploma and degree at the age of 18, leaving to the top university in the state on a full ride, and what do you have? oh youre working on your ged? good good.... youre applying to more jobs so you can leave the one where everyone is an bitch and you take it up the ass cuz youre a pushover? oh my goodness im so proud of you...
maybe my struggle of a life was a gift, once compared to the coddled, rapunzel treatment a homeschooler gets. i know how to be alone. i know how to go into a store and by stuff on my own. i dont get overly stressed and upset all the time like a fucking fish!!! and maybe if instead of telling me how you dont listen to me, how i make you mad, how much i annoy you, or maybe if you couldve come to see me just once when i needed you most... or at the bare minimum, treated me like the friend you say i am..... then i wouldve supported you, just like i did before.
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following posting this, one of the first few comments I received was calling me racist. now, BELIEVE ME.... I am not denying the fact of whether i am or am not racist. but BEING racist and having racist views, are 2 different things. i need to know what they thought of me because it is driving me crazy!!!! i will add screenshots below of the rest of the comment thread. but please im so stressed im shaking over this
