how do u keep a friend whos hypocritical

im actually cutting myself over my long distance bsf uuugggghhhhhhhhhh the blades not even sharp enough to make proper incisions but that's probably better bc even I can't see where I cut but my bsf wants to spend time with me but blames it on me whenever I'm forced to cancel..
they're jealous and hate it when I want to include other friends in calls and say they call only me to wind down after wtvr the fuck they go throguh.. honestly I'd be happy if they told me this in the first place, but he doesnt tell me shit and my self esteem has been so genuinely fucking low it shocks me that they even see me as a person they want to talk to. If I ever upset him he stops talking to me for at most a month and any text I DO get make my stomach lurch.
he never expands on how he's feeling and only tells me when he's at his breaking point, yet the second I confide jin him for anything he could care less just wtf can even do for you atp..