Idk I'm just waiting for something

Im going insane I'm just itching to fight with my family members maybe it bc ive always been on high alert around them all my life because most the time we fight yk? Its weird not having my grandpa not around yeah he can rot in hell and I could careless about him but its so weird not having someone instigate a fight. Its nice not to hear fights that get bad because of my grandpa's bitching but I feel I like routine and since they finally kicked him out during summer I think its getting to me, im so used to everyone being angry and most of the time they were angry bc of my grandpa and now I feel so lost without a routine of him coming home and starting a fight, it was like a routine knowing when he was home and knowing when hes getting angry which is gonna get everyone angry, and now I dont have that and I dont know when someone is gonna be angry so I feel like I'm just waiting for someone to argue with me and I feel everyone around me is doing better they're calmer now because my grandpa's gone so most conversation starters I'm just waiting at them to get annoyed and irritated but its not happening and its finally driving me crazy

Ik I would so fucking messed up this prob has typos i js dont know how to word this