laufey song, specifically ‘i wish you love’ helps me move on from a 5 years one sided love.
i was in love with this one girl since i was 16 but same sex love considered illegal in my country and for some reason i was so in denial i turned my love into loathe and hate. i keep telling myself to despise everything she did, her life, her choices, basically everything. i was rude to her, judged her choices in men, being genuinely a hateful and worst friend u could ever think of.
we didnt interact anymore but i still watch her life from social media. the feelings isnt as strong as before but it is there still.
then i found i wish you love from my friend’s spotify playlist. right after i listened to it something just click in me, i didnt hate her after all, in fact, i love her. i love her so much but i was a coward and pathetic that instead of accepting, i ran away. i turned my love into a hateful weapon that i definitely regret it for the rest of my life.
now im in my 20s, still low to no interaction between. life is a bit lighter since i finally accept what i was trying so hard to hide.
to u, if ure reading this, i never ever wanna ask u to forgive me. i just wanna say that, from the bottom of my heart, i really really hope youre succeed in everything ure doing. i hope u found love u deserve, a man that treat u right, friends that doesnt turn their head against u. i love u sm but i know i wasnt supposed to, and im okay with it.
