depressed or normal

im looking for advice. i have a trip with friends coming up. but in all honestly, i don’t feel like going. I got back from a trip with a different friend a few months ago that kind of made me feel like i just can’t spend an extensive amount of time with friends especially an overnight trip. i felt anxious and stressed for the most part and just couldn’t wait to be by myself at home. the trip should’ve been fun but i think im overly sensitive to all the stimulation of traveling and being around someone who isnt family for more than 24 hours. i also am kind of a recluse now cuz i work remotely and basically have zero social life except for these kind of invites. i find that i get overwhelmed and in efforts to be normal i put myself through this survival mode persona. even if im uncomfortable i push through it because i just want to get home with least mental physical damage as possible and i dont open up to my friends abput this cuz i dont want to make it about me. sometimes i feel like i should just suck it up when my whole body is screaming for me to say no. i keep telling myself that i meed to recover amd have downtime but it’s been months and i still feel like no is the only respomse i want to give to any socializing invitation.