avoidant attachment

I kind of realized I have an avoidant attachment style but its weird because I dislike avoidant people so its like im in a constant loop, I push someone away because im afraid they'll start hating me but once I recover after a week of not talking to them, they obviously ignore me back and then im like "wth they hate me??? so my fears were correct after all!" just reinforcing my beliefs... and you'd think bc im self aware id stop self sabotaging but its like my brain just dgaf about logic when that happens... my mind is a prison (cue emo music or wtv)