I'll leave my friend who has mental illness

i have friend who struggles with depression, bipolar disorder, and residual schizophrenia. things got a lot worse after her dad passed away, and she started feeling like nobody loved or cared about her anymore. on top of that, she got rejected by the guy she'd had feelings for for seven fucking years, simply because she's a tomboy. she's the kind of person who can look handsome as hell when presenting masculine and absolutely gorgeous when presenting feminine, so it's not like she's unattractive or anything. the guy just isn't like tomboy girls.

we've been living in the same apartment since high school, so i've been there through pretty much every struggle and difficult moment she's faced. whenever her symptoms flare up, she also tends to hallucinate quite often. i've suggested therapy to her so many times, but she keeps refusing to go. she's also always had a hard time keeping up with her medication, so i've often had to be pretty damn firm with her just to get her to follow through. she's been struggling at work, and got laid off last week. her symptoms started acting up again, things got messy, and she's been constantly taking her frustration out on me. i know she probably doesn't mean to act this way, but that doesn't mean i have to put up with it all the damn time.

and honestly, i'm reaching my limit. i can't keep being her caretaker at the expense of my own well being. i have my own life, responsibilities, and limits, and i'm allowed to prioritize them. i can care about her and understand that her condition isn't entirely within her control, but i can't keep sacrificing my own mental health every time she has an episode. being her friend doesn't mean i have to tolerate being cussed out, manage her treatment, or take responsibility for keeping her life together. i'm her friend, not her therapist, and i can't be the only person she relies on.

we've been friends for seven years, we've had each other's backs, and we've been through so much shit together. that's exactly why this decision is so fucking difficult. but i've decided that, starting this new year, i need to take a step back and create some distance between us. i'm still conflicted bt it, and honestly, i feel guilty even thinking about walking away after everything we've been through. but i need to choose myself this time. i can wish her well without continuing to be responsible for her well-being. i'm allowed to have boundaries, i'm allowed to say i've had enough, and i'm allowed to live my own life without feeling guilty abt it.