Was there any period of shame you had when reading bl?

If so, why and for how long?
this 1 is for the girls who grew up religious or maybe had some sort of internalised homophobia

Me:
I felt shame for about 3 years of me reading yaoi because it didnt fit the character i played. I was a whole different person at school compared to who I really was. I would read yaoi till about 2am then 6 hrs later call someone the f slur. It was weird. Long story short I got homescooled and finally decided to embrace and accept the fact, I liked reading men fuck.

(also just wanna say I don't agree with people saying the f slur and I condone my behaviour back then ^^)