Tsuukiiii's question (8)

I can't help but wonder.... When bat*t* was shut down by kakao, and then after a short time this site got crashed for a bit (like the lost of the read list, inbox massages gone, comments gone, and constantly logged out). I mean all this happened during a short period of time is just kinda makes thinking is this really coincidence or.. ???? ╮(￣▽￣)╭

I'm struggling to falling in love with someone, I can't get a attraction romantically. I don't know why but I don't mind close with someone but it's hard to feel connected with them.

It's kinda torturing me, I also have tendency to be avoidant and hyper independent. But that's only on romantic relationship, my friendship is fine. I feel like romantic relationship is a chore, I need to take care of them, I need to talk to them everyday, I need to include them with with almost anything. It's just feels like something that I need to do, not something I like to do.

I want to love someone but my heart don't have any Sparks, I can only like someone but not enough to love them. And I often felt guilty because I can't love them as much as they love me

I work so hard for myself, I get tired, I get burnout. But why do I feel I don't deserve my own money to buy things I like? I always prioritize others over my own selfishness but now that I can finally get my self rewards I feel so guilty..... Like I need to save my money for other more important purposes

As an adult I love dirty jokes, it's funny and I love sharing it withy friends. But it feels different when a man doing dirty jokes with me for flirting, it feels cringe and really makes me uncomfortable.
Then I realized the pattern, the jokes I'm sharing with my friends are pure humor. Something that makes you laugh when you heard it.
But the other one is pure harassment, and then they told me it's only a joke. They're joking about wanting to Impr*gnatee or some shit, about my body and so. But they got mad when I'm offended and just told me that they're joking?

- Mass food poisoning (40.759) and 95% are kids across the country
- 57% of forest and 47% of non-forest area got burned where most of endangered species lives
- Up around 3 million to 3.46 million hectares have been converted into oil palm plantations
- Lot of teachers only got paid for $22-$56 a month
- 6.719 activist got arrested for voicing criticism against government
- corruption with total know around $17.15 billion and expected there's more
- 7.7 magnitude earthquake in Flores
- $5.333 donation got hold by the government
- Designating LGBT as a non-military threat
- threatening people/influencer on social media who criticizes government policies
- Nepotism literally everywhere and they got no educational background or whatsoever.

I'm ranting here cause I can't said it on social media. I'm so done with the government, i don't want to live here anymore but our currency are so weak that I need to be rich rich in order to get out of my country. FUCK PRAB AND TEDDY, ALSO HIS USLESS AHH GIBR

Corrupt government, useless big projects, free (pay with people taxes) healthy food that ended up with massive poisoning, unemployment everywhere, deforestation for palm tree almost everywhere, ruining ecosystem for mining, economy collapse, inflation rate is up, everything is getting expensive, but the gov paying huge amount of people (buzzers) to support every dumb decision of that stupid ahh president. And what's the president u may ask? He's having a world tour. He doesn't gives a shit about his county, instead trying to find his way smooching trump to gain power or sum shit.
Yes I'm ranting here because social media controlled by gov and buzzers.

So I remember back in my childhood (15-20 years ago) I remember there's this American movie it's basically a bunch of kids with a boy who got favoured by a demon named ferluci. And later on his parents realized that ferluci stands for Lucifer. The setting is in school where I think there's this ghost house or something I forgot where the devils torment his bullies exactly like the way the by wanted (he writes it in his diaries) but that didn't actually happened because the boy saved them.

At the end of the movie the boy gives middle finger for the bullies but his finger is a wolf claws. And yes I think the boy can change into a werewolf

Is it just me or sometimes, when I comment on manga topics it didn't show the full sentences, especially when I used emojis :')
For example if I type :
"oh well that's pretty cool"
When it's posted, it becomes like this ""oh well"