So much dumbness in just the first couple of scenes of chapter 1. There's gotta be a limit to how lazy an author can be about putting together a plot that's supposed to be at last somewhat compelling. A list after the spoiler space.
(spoilers) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . In just the first few scenes of the first chapter:
- main character gets dumped by a girl who is already engaged to someone else. in real life, most people date one person, breakup due to circumstances they can't or won't resolve, and then move on to the next one. I have a hard time believing he didn't realize he was two-timed and/or didn't realize their relationship was on the fritz for five years where she was seeing someone else for long enough that she was already engaged to them when she broke up with the main character.
- hottest gay top picks up heartbroken straight guy in the street and gives him a coupon for a gay bar. I can't honestly believe that there is value in a gay guy sending a straight guy to an, unbeknownst to him, gay bar, even if the gay guy finds the straight guy attractive. this seems more like what someone would do as a practical joke. or something likely to get a gay guy murdered by an angry straight homophobe.
- straight guy doesn't notice he's in a gay bar for hours, or however long it takes him to get black-out wasted.
- this one is multi-tiered: 1) main character is groped by a pushy gay guy in the bar who's apparently ok with rape, 2) and immediately mentally declares "oh no, i can't resist!" (won't lift a finger for himself), so that 3) hot top from earlier can swoop in and rescue him in the most cliche of ways. like how friggin' lazy is that? Also it's a good thing these tops who swoop in to rescue bottoms who can't lift a finger on their own behalves are better fighters than the guys doing the molesting. what a different story it would be if the swooping-in top got his ass kicked for interfering. hmph.
- hot top from earlier was working at the bar for a while that night yet didn't notice the main character sitting at the bar the entire time, and the main character didn't see the hot top the entire time (even though he specifically came there to find him), over the course of hours (or however long it took the bottom to get black-out drunk). only when main character is about to be assaulted does the hot top happen to notice him. Mmmm hmmm, very likely.
- hot top takes main character, a straight guy who is blacked-out drunk and thus cannot legitimately consent, to a hotel room and immediately assaults him, while the straight guy main character says in his head again, "oh no, my body's not resisting". siiiigh.
- apparently straight guys don't mind having fingers attached to anonymous men up their asses as long as the guy doing it is hot and manly?? i did not know this!
- straight guy has a dick up his ass by page 19. i guess it was fine all along ?!
- honorable mention: at the beginning of chapter 2, the top blames the dubcon sex (more likely assault/rape) of the bottom on the bottom for "seducing him". and then it's just laughed away as the top starts getting handsy again with the bottom, trying to push him into public gay sex (although it doesn't materialize).
Is it too much to ask for the author to put a little thought into the plotting, a little care into the characterizations, and to ground the story in reality some?
So much dumbness in just the first couple of scenes of chapter 1. There's gotta be a limit to how lazy an author can be about putting together a plot that's supposed to be at last somewhat compelling. A list after the spoiler space.
(spoilers)
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In just the first few scenes of the first chapter:
- main character gets dumped by a girl who is already engaged to someone else. in real life, most people date one person, breakup due to circumstances they can't or won't resolve, and then move on to the next one. I have a hard time believing he didn't realize he was two-timed and/or didn't realize their relationship was on the fritz for five years where she was seeing someone else for long enough that she was already engaged to them when she broke up with the main character.
- hottest gay top picks up heartbroken straight guy in the street and gives him a coupon for a gay bar. I can't honestly believe that there is value in a gay guy sending a straight guy to an, unbeknownst to him, gay bar, even if the gay guy finds the straight guy attractive. this seems more like what someone would do as a practical joke. or something likely to get a gay guy murdered by an angry straight homophobe.
- straight guy doesn't notice he's in a gay bar for hours, or however long it takes him to get black-out wasted.
- this one is multi-tiered: 1) main character is groped by a pushy gay guy in the bar who's apparently ok with rape, 2) and immediately mentally declares "oh no, i can't resist!" (won't lift a finger for himself), so that 3) hot top from earlier can swoop in and rescue him in the most cliche of ways. like how friggin' lazy is that? Also it's a good thing these tops who swoop in to rescue bottoms who can't lift a finger on their own behalves are better fighters than the guys doing the molesting. what a different story it would be if the swooping-in top got his ass kicked for interfering. hmph.
- hot top from earlier was working at the bar for a while that night yet didn't notice the main character sitting at the bar the entire time, and the main character didn't see the hot top the entire time (even though he specifically came there to find him), over the course of hours (or however long it took the bottom to get black-out drunk). only when main character is about to be assaulted does the hot top happen to notice him. Mmmm hmmm, very likely.
- hot top takes main character, a straight guy who is blacked-out drunk and thus cannot legitimately consent, to a hotel room and immediately assaults him, while the straight guy main character says in his head again, "oh no, my body's not resisting". siiiigh.
- apparently straight guys don't mind having fingers attached to anonymous men up their asses as long as the guy doing it is hot and manly?? i did not know this!
- straight guy has a dick up his ass by page 19. i guess it was fine all along ?!
- honorable mention: at the beginning of chapter 2, the top blames the dubcon sex (more likely assault/rape) of the bottom on the bottom for "seducing him". and then it's just laughed away as the top starts getting handsy again with the bottom, trying to push him into public gay sex (although it doesn't materialize).
Is it too much to ask for the author to put a little thought into the plotting, a little care into the characterizations, and to ground the story in reality some?
Yes, yes it apparently it is too much to ask.