The husband was the one making all the decisions for the child on TOP of working while the mother didn’t work but also didn’t care at all for the child. Sure the father could’ve been there more but he was practically a single parent with a job.
Yes but they blame her for not taking care of her child while the duke didn’t exactly take care of his child either in a loving way it looks like the relationship between them is more raising his child in the heir of the family than his son he wasn’t neglecting him but he wasn’t taking good care of him either they are both to blame.
I think you might have missed it but the wife was not doing nothing because she wanted to but because she was blocked from doing even basic duties by her husband, his vassels, his household and the household staff. Example no ladies in waiting. No one recognised her as part of the family when she married into the household. They even stopped her from doing her hobbies (her research) and going to social events when she got pregnant and told her she could go back to doing these when the baby was born. But when the baby was born she was told again that she couldn't return to her hobbies or social events (which she was using to cope with the isolation) and told she alone was to focus on the upbringing of the new heir.
Not to mention that she has PPD postpartum depression from Vincette's birth which went unnoticed until she had a mental breakdown and lashed out to the only person she was sharing her isolation with poor baby Vincette. And when she lashed out she was labeled as a bad mother because she had no women (ladies in waiting) to identify that it was PPD. She got no help for her PPD and only had the insight to see there was a problem on her death bed which triggered the time jump and her finally trying to get help.
The mother is still suffering from PPD postpartum depression and because of her being neglected by her husband, his household, their vassels and the house staff no one picked up on it for 21 years in the first time line and has only just been picked up on by the Vassels wife when Vincette's mother tried to get better from her PPD which she only realised when on her death bed in the first timeline. That's why the vassels wife ripped him a new one for blocking Vincette's mother from doing even basic duties (the book keeping).
She has been put in the position where she could not contact her own family because they don't get along well with her husband's family politically, Completely ignored by husband, family, vassels, staff, etc because of this procieved difference. Then her hobbies and friends were taken away when baby was born.
Her neglect and abuse of Vincette is because of her PPD and the neglect and isolation by the hands of her husband and his household, vassels and staff.
This summary makes me depress more and hating more the people around her.
I don’t think she’s an evil person that’s like this for no reason. I fully understand that she had many hardships to go through on her own and it led her to neglect her child. But I also don’t like the fact that people want to blame everything on the father. He did the best he could with the child on his own while also having an important job. The mother stopped eating meals with the child but the father still did, he was raising his son to be the perfect successor and it might’ve been tough from the outside but he made it painstakingly clear that all things he did was for his son’s sake because he knew being the “sword of the kingdom” was an incredibly tough job but he wanted the son to succeed. We can say that he could be there more but he’s quite literally a working single parent doing the best he can on his own while having a job that takes up so much of his time because it’s an extremely important one.
We can’t just act like the husband wasn’t hurt too in this mess, he had feelings for her from the beginning but she made it clear that he was just the best choice from the start. He was also hurt from these things and it’s so obvious he was just doing what he thought would make her happy because of the lack of communication between them both, he thought she didn’t care for him like he did for her and that only showed more in the way she didn’t love her baby. To make her happy he backed off her, he let her do whatever she wanted and did all the work for her in the background while she went to banquets and dances and socialized. He took care of the baby and didn’t force her to be a mother because he thought it would make her happy.
I don’t blame either of them for their relationship, I blame just the lack of communication and also just the environment. The husband has been in a tough spot from the beginning with his own family trying to kill him and being literally forced to go to war to die by the king his job made it unable for him to be there as he should. And with the lack of communication between the wife and husband it’s understandable why he thought she may have wanted space away from him. I don’t think the mother is a horrible person and I don’t blame her for anything, I think she’s a good person actually who deserves a chance and deserves sympathy. But I also don’t blame the husband, from his perspective he’s in a one-sided love with a woman who doesn’t even want him or her own child but he still tries to make her happy not knowing that he’s going about it in an entirely wrong way because of the lack of communication.
Actually ignore this entire reply because I went entirely off topic, this is an entirely different conversation I’m in the middle of in my first reply and it really doesn’t apply to this one. My original comment wasn’t trying to bash the mother, I completely understand that her many hardships led to her actions. Op was questioning the husband as a father and it’s true he was basically a single parent with a hectic job. It’s true the mother did not take care of her child, there’s an understandable reason for it she’s been through so much at such a young age it’s so completely understandable why she resented it all, but the fact doesn’t change that the father was still the one doing everything on his own and the only one actually spending time with the child. I didn’t really want to go into the mother’s internal struggles nor the reason for the many problems in their marriage but I wanted to explain the reality of the father being a single parent in my comment. Most fathers don’t go around saying I love you to their sons at every second especially at the age of 15 nor do they bring flowers to their sons like mothers usually do unfortunately but that doesn’t make them any less affectionate. The father was the one eating meals with his son, planning his education, being there and making decisions which he said was all for the sake of his son. It’s a dangerous position he’ll succeed, the husband has almost been killed multiple times and has gone off to war more than once. He’s hard on him for his sake (said in the manga) like most fathers are. So I’m sticking with my first reply to the original comment.
The only word I can use to describe the first life is that it's satisfactory but that's all it is and that too from an outsiders perspective there's a lot of this and that that's not right underneath the surface and I can't use some rubbish excuse to blame either of the parents but they still have their flaws no one's perfect this story is truly showing the human side of things it's very realistic
For example my mother and I don't have the best of relationship that doesn't mean I hate her I do care for her but I'm really uncomfortable when I'm forced to be close with her so I push her away it's sometimes intentional and sometimes I don't even realize it unless someone points it out
Sorry got sidetracked point being this is a great story so far I see a lot of potential character development they don't need to change so drastically but they should be able to show their feelings and express their internal thoughts/doubts to their important people, grow to love in their own imperfect ways and have their love accepted without feeling burdensome or those other conflicting emotions
P.S. This is just a rant if I said something wrong or offensive pls do correct me since this is a very sensitive topic I'm evermore curious about these things and am happy to learn
I think that’s one of the things that makes this story so good, people can connect with it because of how realistic it is. My father left the house at 3 and didn’t come back until a couple years later, even when he got back he wasn’t in my life like he should’ve been until I reached high school and he realized time is running out with me. My mom did most of everything on her own but she was just one person meaning I was the child that stayed at daycare hours after it closed because she was too busy working to pick me up, I was stuck at home alone cause my mom was trying to provide and couldn’t take me places. I think it’s because I’m coming from the perspective of having a single working parent I’m more sympathetic towards all the characters. But your perspective and my perspective are both so important, really shows the depth of the storyline honestly.
This conversation reminded me of the movie wolf children for some reason the ending really broke my heart the mother I think Hana was her name, ended up alone and her children left her to do their own thing even though she sacrificed so so much I read a commenters opinion and it really changed how I thought about it even before reading that although I didn't like the ending and wasn't satisfied I couldn't think of any other way it could be better the children r their own person they have their own life and the mother understands that. She took care of them raised them gave it her all and more but she doesn't expect them to feel like they owe her she only wants their happiness. It's been a long time since I watched it so don't remember the details so I can't point out more scenarios I can only say the movie left me feeling unsettled but I still felt like I accomplished something with the mother being able to raise her children so well and I'm not trash talking the kids not at all they were very grateful for all that she's done for them and love her dearly it's just my greedy heart that can't help but hope for more for Hana she deserved better I wish in another life the husband hadn't died and they lived a very long and happy life together
kinda pissed me off that almost everyone blame her for neglecting her son but no one said anything abt the husband