manipulative is one thing. I'm talking about things where SA, abuse and violence are just normalized because...they're men??? My point is, you can have a flawed character without playing into the stereotype of gay men being sexually charged, or using the violence of men to normalize domestic abuse etc. It's the most common trope in yaoi. Shounen ai has much less than that. BL (includes webtoon, manga, manhwa, manhua) can fall into either one, both, or neither of the categories. Western BL often depicts healthier relationships and less fetishization. Korean ones probably have the most blatant violence. Chinese ones are actually pretty good albeit the lack of translation and Japan is catching up with some of their newer stories but there is still a large number of literal "yaoi" works (no plot, no meaning, just porn).
thats what im saying man, themes of rape and abuse have been so ingrained into yaoi/shounen ai/bl since the beginning of the genre so if its something that seriously upsets you, you may as well not read it
i understand wanting to be critical of the things you consume, i shit on a low bl too but there is some nuance needed in this conversation
I think you may have misunderstood my tone of voice. I'm not seriously upset, or angry or anything as I write any of this. I'm just replying to the very initial message that normalized it. Awareness is important even if we are all consuming and reading troublesome content. Most of us BL fangirls, myself included, are into some real nasty shit but I would never play it off as if it's totally normal as well.
And yeah, this particular one disturbed me because it's a bit...TOO real? Like I may have read this exact scenarios happening to women. I think with age and maturity, it has become harder and harder for me to read the empty yaoi mangas and manhwas like I used to.
If you like it, it's fine. I did too until just recently but at least having that awareness that none of this is normal irl is important. I have met many people that don't have this and they carry the attitude to people irl as well (shipping, asking gay people their role and other inappropriate stuff)
dw i knew we were having a chill conversation im sorry that my own tone came off brash. i got into yaoi when i was only 12 and now that im in my 20s i fully agree with your points. its important to realize bl is just indulgence and not true gay representation, which is why its so hard to criticise a certain manwha or manga, because of the nuance needed and how redundant a lot of arguments can be
if this was a story about a woman in this situation i absolutely wouldnt even touch it, i have no interest in seeing women in painful scenarios, but bl in general is a thing a lot of women indulge in for escapism
if this relationship pisses you off you just gotta stop reading yaoi atp