Could not agree more. Unfortunately I had to leave the genre alone despite my initial interest because this is precisely what it is. There's a few that due it justice but not many
The number 1 tenant of BDSM is trust. You literally cannot do it without some level of trust. A dom must trust that a sub WILL safe word when it’s too much instead of letting it turn into SA and then reporting it as such and a sub must trust that a dom WILL listen to safe words and will stop. A sadist must trust that the masochist will again safe word if it’s too much and a masochist must trust that a sadist will listen and adjust or stop altogether. Same with bondage. Bondage partners need to have mutual trust or else one is flailing and getting themselves hurt in the bonds and the other gets labelled as an abuser over the marks it leaves. It’s literally THE thing you need in this genre. Ofc, SA still happens and consent is often ignored and in fact the sex slavery in the world mainly can be found in BDSM porn specifically because “no” and “stop” are actively ignored in favour of a safe word. It’s not all sunshine and roses. But the basis of it is meant to keep everyone safe.
...bc that's the bare minimum you need, even with fwb... I keep giving dom/sub verse a try but they're 90% unhealthy takes on bdsm for the fetish of it