And so it begins..! (The Aki and Haru, well, sorta, maybe.. I hope.) Chapter 19 Raws: ht...

What do you mean by "there's still the whole thing with Aki's ex too.." ?
Did Aki had a girlfriend before???

Well, it's not his "ex" per say, I was talking about Aki's first love "Ugetsu" (aka Black haired violinist/roommate). Chapters 16 & 17 kinda focuses on him, and you can tell there's still a lot of heavy/residual feelings there, on both Aki and Ugetsu. There’s a scene where they get a bit intimate and kiss. There's also a scene where Ugetsu (dejectedly) tells Mafuyu, something like “I’m always waiting to be separated from him(Aki).” It’s actually quite heartbreaking, Ugetsu is a very lonely character (he also tells Mafuyu, “I don’t have any friends”). It ALMOST makes me want to ship him with Aki, but in the end, I still ship Haruki and Aki. Though, I really hope Ugetsu finds someone else to be with too—hopefully sensei will write a spinoff about him (well, unless he does end up with Aki.. in which case, again, poor Haruki...) haha

oh okay thanks ! (▰˘◡˘▰)

I really am a Haruki x Aki hardcore shipper, so I got so happy from the last chapter! As you said, IT BEGINS ε=ε=(ノ≧∇≦)ノ

I agree about Ugetsu. I really hope he finds his own happy ending with some hot, great guy, because he does seem lonely.

I honestly, desperately hope he doesn't end up with Aki, not only because of Haruki (although, that's the main reason :P), but because those two are truly toxic for each other. And not the "good-kind-of-sexy-we-make-it-work" toxic. The "we-slowly-destroy-each-other-so-we-wait-for-someone-else-to-save-us" toxic.

From what Ugetsu told Mafuyu (the “I’m always waiting to be separated from him(Aki).” phrase, which I thank you for the translation), to the Aki's slow realization of how helpful, important and healing Haruki's existence is for him, we see how both of them want to move forward but are scared to do so.

I know, that Aki will find happiness and a healthy, lovely relationship with Haruki (I had convinced myself that they will end up together :3), but I need someone to make Ugetsu feel safe and smile too...

So how about Haruki's friend??? The one with the glasses??? He seems like a nice guy, but with strong character as well. Which is perfect for Ugetsu!!!

Yup!! I totally agree with you (≧∀≦)
But Aki kiss and sleep with girls and he even knows that Aki is in love with him so why did he do that and why not with Haru ? even if it's complicated with Ugetsu.
There is also a moment when Aki called Haru while a girl did a blowjob to him...

It's not like I don't want that Aki ends up with Haru but because he was aware of that and
even if it's still not official,he still slept with others than Haru..

I'm kinda disappointed with that but I'm still happy if Aki will be with Haru!! (●'◡'●)ﾉ

But Aki kiss and sleep with girls and he even knows that Haru is in love with him****

Well, to be honest what I got from the raw of chapter 19 was that Aki just now (from Haruki's expression) fully realized the he has feelings for him. But I might be wrong ╮(￣▽￣)╭

But even if he knew it all along. We have to keep in mind, that Aki was up to now, with lingering feelings for Ugetsu, attached to the past, and afraid to move forward. So maybe, even if he knew about Haruki's feelings for him, he didn't want to just use him as a substitute and a half-assed, rebound relationship. That would have been very unfair and crude to poor Haruki, and would have led to destroying their relationship forever. We have seen how much Aki values and understands Haruki's importance for him, so I doubt he would risk to lose it, just to be able to move away from Ugetsu.

As for the call during the blowjob, I think it's a sign that Aki even from before, was never uninterested in Haruki. Sexually and romantically, I mean. It might be that he is subconsciously testing or trying to provoke Haruki and generally trying to involve Haruki in his sex life. I mean, one does not simply call "just a friend" during a blowjob (￣∇￣")

Do I think it's bad manners and awkward? Hell, yeah! But do I think it's a bad omen for those two? No, not really. It's not really a bad sign if your crush feels the need to talk to you and hear your voice during sex. It is a sign though, that your crush has to do some work with himself and solve his issues (aka Ugetsu :P).

So, to sum it up, even if Aki knew from before about Haruki's feelings, and even if he was also interested as well (enough to call him during a blowjob or to ignore a beautiful girl the moment he sees him), he might have chosen not to do anything until he is fully ready to commit in a serious and healthy relationship with him. The girls he is fooling around are expendables for him, Haruki isn't :)

Let's hope that now, that Haruki may leave him and he is afraid he might lose him for good, that he is finally able to coordinate his need and romantic feelings for him, and see clearly what's best for him ( cough, cough...Haruki...cough, cough...)

p.s. sorry for my super long post!!!!

Thanks my friend for explaine !
Don't worry if it's a super long post cause' myself can not do the same thing so...
(=・ω・=)

Hey there, I'm the one who made the anon comments. I'm mostly never logged in because I'm either too hasty to leave a comment or I completely forget I've an account haha (your current username reminded me—and I digress…)

I pretty much agree with most of what you said, but I'm still unsure about Aki's side of things towards Haruki (as not much has been shown and most of the "AkiHaru" we've seen so far is one-sided pining on Haruki's part). I think Aki does have some sort of feelings for Haruki, but it's definitely not as definitive yet though (at least compared to Haruki's feeling for Aki, or what Aki felt for Ugetsu).

About the "call" during the BJ, Haruki was the one who made the call, not Aki, but well, he did answer.. haha. And about Haruki's feelings, from my understanding, I think Aki's known about it for longer than just in that moment. I don't have time to go read it again properly right now, but from memory, this is how it went down…

Aki asked Haru if he's hiding something from him, Haru hesitates and denies it, and Aki asked again, and then Haru (thinking back to the phone call Aki took from him whilst getting the BJ) said "There is, but I don’t want to tell you." That's when Aki grabs him kind of firmly as Haru says it hurts, then he finally gives in and tells Aki that he was asked to help out (in a support role) with another band (by this ex-gf) and then added, "Anyway, it’s none of your business, is it?!" Aki does not take this well, he says something like "So are you gonna go? To your ex-gf? It’s become painful, so you’re throwing it (their band) away?" Haruki replies saying that’s not what he said. And then Aki pulls him and says, "You too!!" (then next page) "Are you running away from me, even though you're in love with me?"

The "You TOO!" part kind of gets to me. I mean I dunno, I just feel like at this stage Haruki is still second to Ugetsu.. I'm hoping that will change (very soon) as the story progresses, but Ugetsu is a strong contender nonetheless. And yes I agree with you, their (Aki and Ugetsu’s) relationship is not healthy. And yeah, I’d totally ship Ugetsu and Take-chan (I think that’s what Haruki called him, can’t remember haha) or with anyone else that will make him crazy happy and fulfilled to the brim!!

The saving grace we have for the AkiHaru ending (in my opinion) is their names. Each of the band member’s names has a character that correlates to a season.
Ritsuka = summer, Mafuyu = winter, Haruki = spring, Akihiko = autumn.
If Sensei paired up summer and winter together, it only makes sense that she also pair up spring and autumn, otherwise what's the point of those names.. right?? Anywho, we won't really know for sure how it will play out until the next chapter. But here's hoping!

Thanks for your reply btw! It’s nice to hear someone else’s indepth opinion on a ship we're both cheering for. :) I'm sorry if this was too long also!!

Why are you saying aki and ugetsu relationship are unhealthy?

to quote username "I finally made an account" who replied above me.

They wrote that: "I honestly, desperately hope he doesn't end up with Aki, not only because of Haruki (although, that's the main reason :P), but because those two are truly toxic for each other. And not the "good-kind-of-sexy-we-make-it-work" toxic. The "we-slowly-destroy-each-other-so-we-wait-for-someone-else-to-save-us" toxic. From what Ugetsu told Mafuyu (the “I’m always waiting to be separated from him(Aki).” phrase, which I thank you for the translation), to the Aki's slow realization of how helpful, important and healing Haruki's existence is for him, we see how both of them want to move forward but are scared to do so."

I kinda agree with what they're saying. Aki and Ugetsu live together, they clearly had/have strong feelings for each other, and they are clearly both okay being with men. And yet, they can't "be together"?? Why not?? And are they just going to be like this—in this tepid relationship—forever? It's like they're stuck. If they can't solve whatever emotional/mental block they have for each other and move forward with their relationship together, then I think it would be much better (healthier—emotionally) for them to find other people who they will be confident in having a relationship with. That's just my opinion on it though. Maybe "unhealthy" was a bit of a strong term to use here, but their relationship (at the moment) is clearly not a "happy" one..

Hello there OP!!! Happy to meet another sailor on the AkiHaru ship!!!

I didn't remember correctly the BJ call, so thank you for refreshing my memory! But as you said, he did answer it XD

I don't read Japanese so I can only "see" the raw chapters, and make speculations based on images. That's why I am very grateful to you for translating lines and parts and make the situation a little bit more clear.

The way you are describing it, you are probably right, that Aki already knew (or at least had his suspicions) about Haruki's feelings. But as I wrote above I don't think that's a bad sign for their future relationship.

I completely agree that Aki's feelings aren't there yet (at least until now). Haruki has been already head over heels about him for a while now, when Aki (again, until now) wasn't sure and ready to move forward with him. He seemed to be still attached to the past, still with a heart ache and a lot of insecurities as a souvenir form his situation with Ugetsu. He needed time to clear things out and decide if Haruki is indeed an option for him.

I do believe though that from the very beginning Aki consider Haruki as a potential lover. I am not implying that he was in love as well, but that he was attracted to Haruki and not opposed to the idea. When a friend of yours is in love with you, and you don't feel awkward about it and try to keep your distance, but you do the exact opposite, you want to sleep in their bed, you choose them over a pretty girl, you say to them how important and healing they are for you and constantly like to increase the skinship between the two of you, you are obviously not repulsed by the idea and you are enjoying their attention.

Sure, it doesn't mean your feelings are in the same level. But I am using past tense for Aki because the last chapter seems like a turning point for his feelings. Up to now, we were witnessing his struggle to move away from Ugetsu, and to realize how he feels about Haruki. But sometimes all we need is one small factor to shake us and suddenly everything is crystal clear. Suddenly, we make a decision on the spur of the moment about something we were torturing ourselves over for months, maybe years. Sometimes all we need is a little push.

And I honestly believe and hope that the possibility about Haruki leaving the band and reuniting with his ex-girl, might be the push Aki needed.

For the "you too" line, actually I see it in a completely different light as you. Actually I think it's a good thing. It validates for me that Aki sees Haruki in the same light as Ugetsu. Not in the same level of course, but he does see him more as a lover than a friend. He wouldn't be so offended and angry about it if Haruki was just a friend to him.

And as I mentioned before, I did get the feeling that Aki had been testing Haruki, subconsciously, till now. It seemed to me that all this time Aki had been comparing Haruki to Ugetsu (even without realizing) to fully understand if Haruki will break his heart, just as Ugetsu did. And that's why the "you too" line. That all he was waiting for was the slightest resemblance to Ugetsu so that he can act, and say "No, this time, it's gonna be different. This time my lover will choose me." It's a bit unfair, but very human too.

But this is my speculation, and I may be very, very wrong XD

I'd read about the meaning of their names before, and you are right, it is a good sign. I also see as saving grace, the latest art sensei draws. Aki carrying Haruki as a bride and Haruki being embarrassed, a panel with almost every character, and Ugetsu, where Aki is hugging Haruki, even the latest cover of the Cheri special edition, where all couples from stories included are featured, where sensei chose Aki and Haruki over the main couple. Also, on twitter, someone posted an image of Haruki with the text "I am promoting Haruki" (which I guess, can mean "I am rooting for him" ????) and sensei retweeted it.

So, for the sake of my own mental stability, I choose to be optimistic about this ship (⌒▽⌒)

p.s. 1) I think it's official. I can't write a short post about those two, even if my life depended on it.

p.s. 2) Glad we are on the same page about Ugetsu and Haruki's friend. Ugetsu x Take-chan it is then!!!

p.s. 3) I am so happy I am not alone in this ship!!!!

p.s. 4) I really have to stop adding stuff to my answer!!!!!!

٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

I was about to answer to this post as well.

May I add that for me, a relationship doesn't have to include physical or sexual abuse to be an unhealthy one. If it keeps you back, and makes you sad, then it is unhealthy for you.

As you said, both seem stuck. Their past is so present, it doesn't allow them to have a future.

They obviously don't want to fall into the trap and become a couple (again?), but the same time they are unable to become a couple with someone else. They both are a constant reminder to each other of something that went wrong, maintaining their injuries, insecurities, regrets and fears very much alive.

It's very easy to get trapped into a vicious circle that drives nowhere. That's why for me, sometimes, a gray zone is darker than a black one. Because the pain is not strong enough to motivate you to escape. Not strong enough, but still there.

where did you see the pic of Aki carrying Haruki as a bride and Haruki being embarrassed?

here you go (●'◡'●)ﾉ

https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=55108226

I was about to write that I don't remember, but then I had an epiphany XD

Thank you(≧∀≦)

You are welcome (⌒▽⌒)

I think everything you’ve said is totally possible. And I think you’re right, if Aki didn’t have any intentions towards Haruki he would not have acted how he has been towards him knowing that Haruki likes him. Now we just need some clarification in the story ;) Well I’m a bit of a cynic, so I wouldn’t be surprised if Sensei pulled a fast one on us haha. But I really hope they are official! This is one situation where I would gladly take an “I told you so” from anyone!!

I was aware of that artwork of Aki and Haruki, but I had no idea about the Cheri cover or the retweet on twitter. (I forget Mangakas are on twitter, I really need to up my social media game...) Thanks for letting me know! Oh my, I think I found the post.. It’s pretty funny. It’s kinda difficult to translate directly, so I’ll just say that the OP says she’s supporting Haruki, and she became “non-virgin face” but she’s still supporting Haruki haha.

And no worries about the length, I understand how you feel. I always end up writing long posts too haha. To be honest, I ship AkiHaru more than the main ship! Oh I also agree with you, a relationship can be mentally and emotional unhealthy as well as physically.

Well, speculation or not, I forget to mention, in Ch 19, the very last speech bubble in the black panel on the last page, translates to something like.. “It’s fine already..” or “It’s enough already..” Take that how you will. :) I cannot wait for the next chapter to be out! Though it's still awhile away..

And might I add on to what @beniboshi said (which I completely agree with) about Akihito and Ugestu's relationship being unhealthy/toxic ... Ugetsu is a musical genius, which is an trait that Aki seems to struggle with (almost envious of) because he can never accomplish with such ease what Ugetsu can. BUT furthermore in one of the past raws it is stated that Ugetsu cannot continue to make great music when he is in a good relationship/happy with Akihito. So, at some point he decided that his music took precedence over his relationship with Aki and has chosen to distance himself from Aki. He is now actively out searching for/hooking up with other people. While Aki was getting head right before Haru called him and he picked up he was texting with Ugetsu and I think he said he was out with somebody... and he hadn't/wouldn't be home for a while (I can't really remember/also couldn't read aka google translate it well). AAANNNNDD I believe this is what caused him to drink and get in an argument/ get hit by Ugetsu and wind up on Haruki's steps. So, while I am really rooting Haruki to be happy with Akihito, I am somewhat disappointed that it seems he still has not let go of his feelings for him (because he got in a fight about it). And it looks like he is headed for another downward spiral- which has happened in the past due to Ugetsu and Aki's toxic relationship at which point Haru came into the picture and "saved" Aki as he says he is always doing.
Also, another thing that gives me hope for AkixHaru is that we can see that Akihito treats Haruki different from all those around him as Mafayuu stated when he he witnessed Aki taking money from a woman after kissing her and getting out of her car. Mafayuu said something along the lines of "Instead of becoming more well-rounded as a person (harkening back to Haru's impression of Aki after he "recovered" from bad behavior he was engaged in when Haru met him) you just don't show that side of you to Haru only"<<extreme paraphrasing involved!! It seems he is afraid of what will happen if Haru found out all the bad things he is doing but is not really concerned if others know. So he definitely has a special existence for Akihito.. I'm just hoping it includes romantic feelings strong enough to put his love/problems with Ugetsu behind him. WOW that was long (lol just like everyone else!!) This is really a discussion provoking manga!! Hahaha