Spoil me please

Yes he slept with that twink, it also showed on one the earlier chapters

the twink is a top and he wants xianqu and xianqu wants him back (but he thinks he is a cute bottom) but illay gets jealos and makes the twink suck him off so xianqu will see it and won't want him anymore

Oh he only sucked him off? And didn't sleep with illay? Huu gosh I hate everything about illay he basically forced xianqu like it was SA not only on just the bottom but on xianqu as well..

Gahh I wanna punch that shit soo bad everything about the top is hatable

Yes he did slept with Xinlu *only that one time* Ilay didn't forced him, it was Xinlu's doing too. I'm telling you, they are both bastards.

(Novel spoilers)

yes he fucked xinlu BEFORE. And he regrets it ALOT, it’s literally one of his biggest regrets, and only after he realised he fell in love w taeui, he never touched xinlu again. xinlu was just a hole to him sorry!!

now for the second part… “what is there to like about ilay besides dick and body”,

do you think taeui fell in love with him because he’s nice???? because he opens doors and says i love you every morning????? ilays love isn’t soft. it’s not sweet. it’s terrifying. that man watches taeui like it physically hurts to look away. he’s not normal, he doesn’t act like a real person, he’s described as inhuman MULTIPLE times. and yet, when he’s with taeui, he’s grounded. he becomes this version of himself that literally no one else ever gets to see. not even his own family.

he doesn’t lie to taeui. ever. he doesn’t sugarcoat. he doesn’t play games. he’s just there, obsessed, intense, breathing him in like it’s oxygen. he protects him. he worships him. he gives him the kind of attention that isn’t “aww cute” it’s deranged and weirdly respectful and completely insane. it’s like. “you’re mine but i know if i press wrong you’ll vanish and i’ll kill everyone in this room and then myself” energy. LOL. There is a lot of evidence in the novels AFTER passion that shows just how inlove both Ilay AND taeui are. Taeui loves Ilay just as much as him especially in the DASIM and SUITE novels. it’s known that Ilay “can’t live without taeui”, as he makes an oath to be assassinated if taeui ever dies before him. taeui soon after realizes through his own narration that he too cannot live without Ilay.

the appeal of ilay isn’t that he’s “hot.” it’s that taeui is the only thing in the entire world that makes him human. that makes him feel. taeui doesn’t fall for him because it’s romantic. he falls for him because ilay is the only person who never bullshits him. who sees him, really sees him, and doesn’t try to twist him into something else.

In SUITE, we can clearly see that more. Ilay analyses taeui so much that he can see exactly everything that he thinks, past, present and future haha. to Ilay, taeuis every emotion and thoughts are written on forehead. there was a chapter were the character “Christopher” from dasim (the second novel), reveals that ilays every thought is consumed with taeui and his whole existence is about taeui. he asks around about what taeui does in every minute of the day, calls taeui routinely and is just so utterly obsessed with taeui. it’s not very visible and shown that taeui loves him back just as much but he really does, hes just a very unreliable narrator haha.

so yeah it’s not just the dick. it’s the psychosexual eye contact. the "i'll die if you stop looking at me" stare. the “i’ve already killed for you and i’ll do it again” vibes. it’s the fact that this freak of nature who could destroy the world chooses taeui as the center of it. and never wavers. ever.

anyway if you don’t get it you don’t get it. some of us are reading the novel and some of y’all are skipping panels and saying “why doesn’t he bring him flowers.” lol.

Honestly I have so much more to say but I think I should stop here….

“you’re mine but i know if i press wrong you’ll vanish and i’ll kill everyone in this room and then myself” is so canon i love this ty for explaining it even for me who's so bad at explaining

Is there arc that shows how much illay regrets it? Gosh i would love that

Thanks for the explanation bro i now feel peace.

Well not really haha buttt

one heavy thing about ilay's feeling is the way taeui isn't just a one and only love in his entire life. coz what he feels towards taeui is beyond any word could ever describe. taeui is his humanity, his reason, his goals, his concern, his salvation, his cure, his wholeness, his.

normal people would say being in love feels warm, comforting, some even said euphoric. but what did ilay say about being in love with taeui?

ilay stated it's like endlessly being in hell — it's hellish, for how his senses always actively react to every speck of detail about taeui.(said in suite complete works).

ilay loves taeui enormously deep it gets him into never ending hyperfixation — as if he's in hell. he absorbs everything about taeui; his breath, his voice, his feeling, his behavior. there is no little speck of taeui that goes unnoticed by ilay.

it must be intensely overwhelming.

so it really is how you want to take it. in my opinion taeui to him is both his karma and a blessing? his heart physically hurts being with taeui. his love for taeui might as well be his punishment haha

thank god , they're my biggest hyperfixation lolol. I'll always defend iltae