This is not really a manga related question, but whatever. Alright, there I go: How does ...

Gosh, I'm telling the Internet so much about me and her, if it annoys you or something please tell me!

Cuz otherwise I'll just ramble about her all day... I don't really have someone I can speak with about this topic... （￣へ￣）

may i ask your age, i think you are in high school bc accroding to your age you can do different stuff, especially if you like the same stuff

for example my cousin is one of the rare person in my entourage who likes to go to the museum so when we both can we look for a good one

that's great that you feel this connection with her bc it's something rare according to my experience there are not a lot of ppl with whom i had the "feeling" and unfortunately with some of them i lost contact bc we only saw each other at school

it's cool that she includes you in her future plans, it means, she want you to be in her life even after highschool and that's great

yes do ask her to visit you on saturday that's great for to dare to ask, and she will konw more about you wich is good

About your classmates, i know how it can be difficult to speak to others when we are shy but at first you can talk about silly stuff like new movies or even the weather then the conversation will be easier.

I'm currently 14, is it a weird age to think that you're in love? I always thought the love thing begins when you're 16 and older.

And the thing with the classmates: well, there actually are some nice people in my class, but I somehow don't feel the need to befriend them. It has always been like that; I had my close friends and the other classmates and I seperated myself from my classmates. I didn't want it to be like that in high school, but oh well.

For me it's really great to write my feelings in here, because otherwise I think I'd just go crazy.
Seriously, sometimes I get the urge to message my friend and tell her that I might be in love with her, but then I just erase it quickly. So I really am thankful to tell someone that, even if it is someone I don't know.

And yesterday in biology I stared at her ( I didn't really notice) and dear god, I think she caught me. I WAS SO EMBARRASED. And in English we had to interview family members or friends and she took me, not her beeeest friend! It wasn't something big, but I still felt happy.
And because she's open for almost everything, I introduced her to Anime and Manga.
She read a Manga and she said it wasn't enjoyable for her.
I also talked to my other friend about Anime, specifically Yuri on ice and my friend ( the one I like)
watched it that day. The first episode. And she didn't really enjoy it, she said to me.
Of course that's fine, not everybody likes everything. But she asked me what Anime I'd recommend her and a bunch of other things. It was unexpected for me because she didn't like the Manga and the Anime, but still asked me about it. And she seemed interested.
I was happy, because it felt like she still wanted to see what I liked about it.

Before maths she braided my hair and she said that my hair was beautiful.
And my mind totally exploded. And then I replied: "Yours is more beautiful".
Because seriously. Her hair is gorgeous. It's blond and waist long.
And then she was like, doing it too harshly, ( I'm sensitive, alright)
and I whined. And she was honestly like "I'm sorry!!!" and stuff.
Normally she would've mocked me playfully how sensitive Iam.
That was weird. She's been a lot more "thoughtful"? Do you say it like that?
Or like, much more caring. We still are making bad jokes and puns and saying things like "The weather's hot. Just like me.", and then the other one groans and stuff.
But I feel like something has changed, even if it is something very tiny.
Maybe I'm just over-analysing things.

Thank you so much for reading what I have to say and giving me suggestions!
Yesterday I was like "What if I'm annoying them? What if they don't read the things I wrote?"
And I checked mangago every ten or twenty minutes. I always care about what others think.
Sometimes, that get's really annoying.
Can I ask you about your age too? I'm just curious.

I forgot to put the name in the repy, hope you don't get confused or something.
Aaaand I forgot another thing: she said she had an appointment, so I couldn't meet her.
I think I'll ask her again in the week but not on Sunday becuz I gotta do things.
But I wanna meet herrrr

i find your story interesting, you don't annoy me at all
yesteray i was really tired so i couldn't reply sorry

no it's not young i was curious abbout your age to give you example of activities but you are a little young for what i thought lol
btw i am 22

it's sweet that she is interested in the the stuff you like, and wants to know more about you and if you think like something has changes maybe there is but it could means you and her have changed therefore you relationshhip too

Sometimes when I'm learning for school I space out a little and then my thoughts always go to her. Then I can't concentrate at all. I think about how she'd react if I confessed to her and stuff.
But I don't think I'd ever do that, because I'm just too afraid of losing our friendship.
Like I said I feel a lot closer to her than to my other friends.
And I always overthink things like "What does he/she think of me If I tell her this?"
Like I listen to kpop and stuff and I thought that I was weird because of it but I just told her anyway. She doesn't judge me for things I do or like, that's really nice.
I don't judge anyone either, so I can tell her everything, and she can too.
With my other friends I even feel bad or guilty when I borrow things from them, it's really annoying to me but I can't help it. She's also completely honest with everything.
So when I show her a drawing of mine, she says honestly what she likes about it and what not.
So it's not like she has to say it looks great because I'm her friend and I really like that about her.
I'm even looking forward to school because of her.


Thanks for reading again!!!! Really appreciate that (⌒▽⌒)

well it's difficult to reveal yourself, bc ppl judge and can be narrow minded but you still did with her wich is good bc you feel confortable around her and even if you have doubts you still know that she is an open minded person

about confessing, not rfom my experience but at a moment it will be difficult to be with her just as a friend so until then try to know more about her tastes, if she could be with a girl...

to me a good friend is someone who tells you are ugly when you are, the truth even if it's not nice and you found that in her.

I know too that she isn't homophobic or something, so I could probably say that I maybe like girls too? But I'm very unsure of what to call my sexuality, because you can still look at a girl and think she's pretty without being lesbian, the same with a boy, right? And if I didn't meet her I would've thought I'm too young to be thinking about these things like relationships, sexuality and stuff. I also think you don't have to categorize yourself. ( Maybe, I don't really know much about these things )

I think I can at least tell you her first name, so things won't get complicated when I always call her 'her'. Her name is Elaine. And she's not really a very touchy-feely person, but when she like, wants to visit me, I get soo fricken happy! Or when she compliments me, because I know that she really means it.

And GOD, I have to tell you this. So, my class went to a swimming pool.
But not like, outside, it was in a building. In German you call that a "Schwimmbad",
I dunno what that is in English. Anyway, we went there and we obviously had to change our clothes. And there wasn't an entire locker room for girls and one for boys, there were ones for two or three people. Because me and my friends ( including Elaine ) were 4 people, we decided to split up. Me and Elaine got a locker and they got their's. So like, I already had my swimming suit
under my regular clothes, so it wasn't a problem to get changed.
But after swimming I had to undress myself. In front of Elaine. And she had to, too.
She wasn't even the least bit ashamed or bashful, she just began undressing herself.
Of course I turned with my back to her when I began undressing myself, who wouldn't?!
And she was like "Are you bashful?" and she apparently found it really funny that I replied
"Uh yea??". Dear god. Literally nobody ever had seen me naked.
Like, fully naked. I was so embarrassed of myself, because I thought that my body wasn't really
appealing. I'm chubby, but not too chubby. In clothes you don't see any chub at all, but naked...
AND on the bus ride back, I was really exhausted so I slept with my head leaning against the window. That was very uncomfortable for me, because the bus was rattling and stuff.
( How do u say that in English ) So I just slept on Elain's shoulder and jesus, that was nice.
She was like, warm and soft and comfortable. But then she said my head was too heavy and too hard. Then I pulled my head back and pouted at her. I really wanted to sleep comfortably, alright?!
Elaine just sighed and finally gave in. And when the bus stopped, she was waking me gently up.
That happened like, before last week.

Thenk u for reading! I couldn't really tell that to someone else... (￣∇￣")

thx it was getting complicated to understand the whole situation lol
in my opinion ppl live whoever they want if it's a girl or a boy then be it, don't need box to be put in.
Even if personnally i prefer boys right now i don't know in the future i could meet a woman whom i would fall in love with.

wednesday was the music festival (fete de la musique, sorry don't know how to translate it) in short it's a day when there are concert everywhere in the city.
And around 3 am we meet two girls (funny ones) and one of them looked at me in the eyes and told me you like girls i can see it, it was really funny bc i was sure of my tastes in the i told her that maybe someday i would end up with a girl but to me it depends of the preson not the gender.

she is such a nice girl!! i love when ppl let me sleep on their shoulders so i understand your feeling but for you it was better since you have a crush.

about your body don't think that your body is not appealing, don't believe in the society diktat especially at your age.

Thank you for your nice reply(▰˘◡˘▰)
It's so nice to know that there's someone I can tell about the crush-thingy.
I was already thinking about telling another friend, but since I'm not even sure if I'm really in love,
I'll wait a little.

So today Elaine was talking about her birthday and she said that her beeest friend couldn't come,
so we'd probably be alone with her family. I don't know what we are going to do, but we'll most likely go bowling. I'm looking forward to it! ( especially bcuz I won't get jealous bcuz of her best friend ) She always gets so excited when she talks about what she wants to do with me. It's really sweet! Like, she wants to go swimming and draw and stuff.

I think even if I won't ever confess to her, I'd still be happy to live with her.
My only issue is, that she probably will want a ( boy/girl )-friend to live with.
But I don't think that I have to think about that now, do I? I hope not.
She herself said she was too young for a romantic relationship so I think I'll be fine.

oh sweet did you already choose a gift? you can spend more time just the two of you ;)

if right now she doesn't want a romantic relationship it's good but if she can be with a girl be this girl bc if right now you are jealous of her best friend imagine when it will be someone she is in love with.

if you really trust your other friend even if you are not sure about your feeling she could help since she has knoown you a long time.

I'm pretty boring so I'll draw something for her and I'll give her some copic markers.
She looves them.( I do too but they are too fricken expensive )
So yea. I dunno what to draw. Would it be weird if I drew her? Hmmmm...
Or maybe I'll give her something else? I JUST DON'T KNOWWW
Maybe chocolate too? I wanna give her something special, but I'm just too boring...

Well and I don't really know if I should tell my other friend...
She won't judge anybody and she's already been in a romantic relationship with a girl, so maybe...
I just don't know. I don't want to ruin or change anything.

And if she'd fall in love just now, I'd explode of jealousy. I really don't want that.
But I also don't want things to get weird between us. She always makes me smile and it makes me even happier when she is happy. She laughed at my dumbest jokes today, that was pretty nice too. But whenever she's being nice with another person I get sooooo jealous.

The best thing to happen would of course be that she loves me back.
But I'd also be happy if we could just live as friends together and she won't ever get a boy/girlfriend. But I don't think that would happen.
So I try to enjoy the time I can spend with her, without anyone getting in the way.
Somehow that sounds sad

you said she likes your drawing so offer one, yes you could draw her that would be cute and i suggest you to frame it. personally i prefer when it's framed, it prettier.


you are right enjoy it, i just don't want you to suffer. this is why if you can seduce her in a subtil way, knowing what king of person she likes and if she can be with a girl bc if she can't it will be difficult and at this moment try to find someone else.

Why would you ruin your frinedship by telling her you are in love with a girl especially if has already been in a relationship with a girl. She could give you good advice.
In my experience talking about your love life with a friend isn't wrong, bc it means you trust her and she feels special that you tell her. After it depends of the type of person your friend is.

But i can understand why you don't want to and don't woory i don't tell you to tell your friend bc you are annoying ;).

Ugh, I'm just so uncertain about telling my other friend. I know that she'll understand buttt...
I don't know.

But today something weird happened!
In chemistry Elaine was talking to me, then she just stopped and looked at me.
It was like she was staring through my soul. Then I felt something reeeeeeallly weird.
It was like my heart was pounding very fast, but not in a good way.
It somehow felt like I was caught doing something wrong, like being nervous.
But like, EXTREMELY nervous. I don't really know how to describe it, but it didn't feel nice at all.
Then I looked away because I couldn't look into her eyes anymore.
I was like "Holy shit, what just happened" and "Does she know?!" and like, panicking.
When she talked to me again, I didn't look exactly into her eyes, like slightly down.
That was so weird!!!! I don't know how to explain the feeling but it wasn't like fear.
Do you know that feeling?

And the "Try it with someone else"-thing, do you mean like, try to be in love with someone else?
Seriously, there is nobody who can compare with Elaine.
It may sound like an annoying teenager to you but the boys in my class are so immature.
I don't believe I'd want to befriend someone like that, let alone dating someone like that.
And it's not like they are just immature and annoying, I just don't like them at all.
Boys from other classes aren't that great either. And the girls who aren't close friends of mine are like, kind ( most of them ) but that's all. If I had to date someone, It would be Elaine.

Now another topic: I'm really glad that I'm not going through an edgy emo phase.
I think it's so cringy... And I absolutely despise teenagers who 'hate' their parents cause they're
'unfair'. I love my parents. They help me, care for me and love me back.
I don't care if I have to wash the dishes or tidy my room. It's not a big deal.
Like, my little ( half ) sister is getting angry so quickly because of unnecessary stuff.
She's only ten and shouts at her dad and tells him that she hates him and insults him.
She doesn't really hate him, but I think it's still unrespectful. Her dad cares really much about her and loves her. He's really patient for standing her.
So yea, that's it (●'◡'●)ﾉ

if you are uncertain then don't tell her, it's for the best
no never happened to me, it's weird i think i would have laughed to hide my uneasiness
falling in love with someone is difficult i konw that, it doesn't happen with everyone you don' control it.
I mean more like getting close with other people and seing in someone else a person you could date. Sometimes you fall in love little by little but to do that you have to forget you prejudices about this one (this sentence is weird in english).

i know it would be Elaine lool

an edgy emo phase loool most of the kids who hates their parents bc they are unfair are spoiled, don't worry when the will get older they wil be ashamed.
perso i didn't shout at my parent (they would have killed and burried me) but...

i am 22 and still hate to tidy my room, it's always a mess

she is scary your little sister to be pissed at only ten good luck for when she will be 14

Oh yea... I'm already looking forward to her being a teenager...

I sometimes feel like I'm a bit "mean" to others. Like, not giving them a chance to be like, best friends or something. I'm still being kind and stuff, but I'm not interested in befriending another classmate. I feel ike I have this bubble with me and my closest friends in it and the other's are no where near it. I'm not really to lazy to make new friends ok ( sometimes alright )

And right now I'm like, grossed out just by thinking of dating someone else than Elaine.
Maybe I'm just too stubborn?

Also, I can speak sum french
Salut, je m'appelle Hermine. J'ai quatorze ans et j'habite à Hönow.
That was great right

c'était super
i know a few words in german
ich bin fatma

nice to meet you hermine

i understand if you are not interesting by being friends with them bc they don't attract you as friends, sometimes it's really tiring to make new friends but it worth it.
well you are in love with her so right now she is the only person you want to date, it's normal

oh god i am wearing tong and it's raining like hell, frigging weather!

Haha alright...
Gosh I'm so on my period right now, maybe that's why I'm so emotional and questioning everything. Also, I'm phan trash, I'll try getting Elaine into it ( ° ʖ ° )
I'm not thinking I'll succeed but I'll try anyway

Did I tell you how I and Elaine met?
I graduated to high school. ( I dunno how that works in England or France, but in Germany it's called Gymnasium and you go there after 6th class. I was 13 or 12 then )
And I was super anxious because my old friends all went to different high school's,
so I knew nobody. I thought that I'd never make friends because I'm so shy and wouldn't even say hello. When I was in my new classroom, my teacher decided that we play some
"meeting game". ( dunno what that really is in English, in German it's called a
"Kennenlernspiel" so a game to get to know our classmates better )
So it was like that: you can say what hobby you have and the others will put their hands up if they like the same thing. God, I've never been so thankful for embarrassing school games.
I said I liked drawing and some kids put their hands up, including Elaine.
Then my teacher asked the kids "And what do you draw specifically?"
And Elaine said she liked drawing realistically with a pencil.
And I was like "Holy shit! Drawing realistically is really hard, she must be really talented!"
I immediately wanted to be her friend but I didn't know how to introduce myself.
Then the school break began and I tried to talk to Elaine. God that was awkward.
I was like "So I heard you liked drawing well I like to draw too!"
And we talked about drawing and food and stuff.
When the school break was over we went back to the classroom.
Then the teacher decided where everyone would sit.
At first I sat somewhere in the front next to a boy. But because I'm so tall she sat me in the last row, next to Elaine. And we were like "Hey, I know you from somewhere..."
And she was really surprised and I was too. I was really fricken lucky!
So yea, that's it.
It isn't easy writing so much in English but I try my best to make it understandable!

our teacher explained us a bit about how german schools work really different of french one.
Ah ok it's the normal way to make friends in highschool, i bet you are thanking god for being tall.
so what do you like to draw?