Me too honestly
Ed did make the decisions himself and he’s very aware that it’s his own responsibility. It’s just as he told Ryan in Ch49, “McQueen isn’t the one I should resent.” He wasn’t mad at McQueen for the consequences, he was even worried about McQueen. However, Ryan’s comments/film helped him see some things he didn’t think about since he was so blindly in love with McQueen that he only saw all the good. Ed realized that McQueen is willing to do very unethical works for profit and/or art. Originally, all the porn Ed shot was only going to be available on McQueen’s website through membership and such. Then McQueen and Ed’s films reached exceptional success because the chemistry between them was hugely favorable. McQueen saw the profitability of that and adapted it into a format that would reach a larger audience. There can be argument points like McQueen was doing it for some artistic purposes, showing the world his and Ed’s relationship, and/or that he wasn’t the only one who pushed for the adaptation since there’s a whole team of people behind it. I think many things can be true at once and it’s a mix of it all. Most importantly though, McQueen was aware of the potential consequences from past experiences of Ryan’s film. (He even sent Ed 50k instead of the original 15k due to guilt.) Yet, he decided to let it happen anyways. Ultimately, Ed felt like McQueen had not just exploited him, but their relationship, for some money. That realization made Ed snap and led him to spiral during the argument with McQueen.
In short, Ed was hurt because it felt like his lover exploited their relationship.
Thank you for explaining the nuance of how the success of the video led to bigger potential profits and how he was not involved with deciding if the video should be released/pushed to a wider audience. I think that’s the part people seem to miss and then don’t understand why Ed is mad since he knew he was going to be visible in a corn and got paid for it. It was something unexpected that led to him suffering more and McQueen profiting more which could make him feel like he was being exploited
ima be real i don’t really understand why the original conflict was so dramatic (the conflict between mcqueen and ed) maybe i need another perspective but if you’re an adult and make a decision that YOU know will ruin your life, you have to deal with those consequences. multiple times throughout the story ed confirmed that he knew what he was doing would probably blow back up in his face but he was okay with it because of cash
, his feelings, debt etc.
idk. he has a right to feel how he does but the scenes just weren’t making me understand his reasoning behind lashing out at mcqueen so intensely. like yeah, you’re embarrassed but you literally reached out to him and followed through with making films… pls lmk if im missing something because i really am confused.