Pls don't skip

My family are all dead(moste died of illness)
Being the last one sucks.. knowing no one will be there when I die/funeral.. No true friends either, just temporary ones.
I was bullied and abused in school so after I graduated I choosed to not get friends out of fear (risk betrayals/drama)
Pets, movies and books are my medicin ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~lifes short and we all have worries on what we should do.. there are no true answers, keep breathing and enjoy the small things

idk my purpose is to make my self happy thus reading endless yuri until im 70 and enjoy life as much as i can, experience everything as long as i can, document every little thing cause im a nostalgic person, look at my surroundings and think everthing is so beautiful like the blue sky rn, the color of leaves when sunlight hits them, the thay dance through the wind and all, the sunlight warming my face, the voices of people i love filling my ears. ik ts corny as fuck but its true

I dont think I have one fixed purpose yet and ive slowly become okay with that

For me its not something big or defined its more about small things that keep me going some days its just wanting to do a little better than yesterday or understand something new or even just get through the day without giving up on myself

There are phases where I feel motivated and hopeful and there are phases where everything feels heavy and pointless in those low phases I dont really rely on hope I just rely on routine doing the next small thing attending class finishing something talking to someone even just getting out of bed

I think purpose isnt something you suddenly find its something that builds slowly as you keep going even when you dont feel like it

And honestly sometimes the only reason is just wanting to see what happens next and thats enough for now

If youre feeling stuck youre not alone a lot of us are figuring things out as we go and trust me. People who have everything figured out don't actually have it figured out. Everyone is trying to find their purpose everyday.

The hardest part of this is trying to find a purpose which you are allready doing so you are already one step ahead of everyone. You have already done the hardest part. Don't push yourself to find a purpose, it will come automatically. No one can predict when. Until then the best you can do is go through everyday. Make a routine and celebrate everything, even if it's getting out of bed or eating something.

Stop waiting to find a purpose, put yourself out there and the purpose will find you. I hope you do well and don't push yourself too hard. I know many people who do and it just breaks you. Just remember that everything you do is an accomplishment if you make it one. Who need a purpose anyways? Just pass each day and maybe you'll get a new skill or discover something new.

Take care and don't let anything else define what you do.

My "motivation" = my motive to do action is quite simple. I didn't want to overcomplicate things and feel pressured or feel dread.
My dream in life is to eat fried chicken in Japan. Silly I know but I never thought I'd make it to my 20's honestly.

What keeps me going towards that goal is how I'd reach it, and at some point I decided on becoming a teacher and teach in Japan.

I'm currently in college and I'm surprised with myself. I'm here because of the support system I didn't know I had (friends and sister) and a hug in silence pretty much helped me a lot.

I know it can be heavy and it feels like you're drowning. It did take me quite some time to have a change in perspectives.

Please know that you are supported, no natter what condition, feeling, or state you are in. (I support you)

So yeah, the thought of having fried chicken in Japan really gets me going hehe.

For as long as I can remember I've never wanted to be alive. When I was younger the world was black and white. I was just existing. The only person that made me excited to be here died. I knew he would be said if I ended my life, but I hated being here. After a few years I started living for myself; figuring out what made me happy. Not caring what others said or thought of me; being true to me, helped me see that life can be colorful if I make it.
When I feel down I'll look back to posts like this. Knowing that others are going through the same thing as me and they're still moving and pushing through life makes me realize that I CAN do it too, even if I never wanted to be here. We are not meant to be alive just to hate being here.
Something else I like to do when I'm feeling low is: I like going to coffee shops. Which is something small but it makes me feel warm inside.

I thought alot about what I should say back to all of u .

These days im in a dark place mentally but each one of your answers really helped me alot to keep going and reopened the thinking positively box for me .

Thank you so much guys for taking the time of your life to answer my question and care about me
This really does mean alot alot to me .
I read every single word u all wrote and it did affect my view on life .
Sometimes when ur depressed enough it's hard to see the light although it might be sharper and clearer than ever .that's how I felt until I read all ur views on life and opinions on why we should keep going , I infact want to keep going just for the fact that life might get better and for the experience and for the hell of it all
Maybe I'll do smth great that could help or save others
Maybe I'll wake up one day and feel happy and excited
Maybe I'll know what the fuck is the one piece
Thank u all again for your kind and meaningful words
I'll always comeback and read them again and again and again when I feel helpless and lonely
Life truly does keep going....
And I also hope for Each one of u to live a happy life , to achieve all of your dreams and to sleep peacefully and wake up with no pressure and no worries .

I think I have alot more to say that this text might become tacky and childish but just know I appreciate you all and these comments mean alot to me till the point that it actually is keeping me going.

Thank you so much your words helped me alot
I'll alwayes keep them in mind

I'll keep breathing
and I'll make sure i enjoy the small things in life and I'll always remember your kind words
Im so glad for your kind words that found its way to me through place and time

Your words made me think of all the life experiences that I could be experiencing and all the small things in life that we should thank God that we can experience
And I thank u so much for speaking your mind
Ur words made it to my heart
And watered my soul

Thank you so much for your support and kind words
And you know what
My dream is to eat fried chicken in Japan too hehe

Your words truly struck a cord within me
You've gone through alot and you're still going
Im so proud of u as you're such a strong person
And I aspire to be this strong and wise
Life in fact could be colorful if we make it be
Thank u for your words it means alot to me
And I wish u all the best coffee shops in the world

Thank you