K
I love how you put that. Heart. Mind. Body.
Along those lines, many comments are misunderstanding the nature of love. I keep reading things like "He doesn't love TJ, that's a trauma bond" or "This isn't love, after all the times they hurt each other." For people who act like they know what love is, it seems like it's pretty hard for them to grasp that you can love people who hurt you and that love is actually what is making that bond even stronger.
Love is a choice you make over and over and over again. For Ian, loving TJ is taking a bullet for him, patiently waiting until they can finally build a life together, being understood and not judged for his past, making sacrifices for one another, TJ caring about him enough to stay by his side and help get Ian off drugs, etc. Like Tima said, they both keep choosing each other with their hearts, minds, and bodies.
So It's not a discussion of "does Ian love TJ," becuase it's written plainly. Now, if were arguing what counts as abuse, if Ian is a victim, If this relationship is just another addiction, if he's trauma bonded to TJ, etc etc. Please do that (respectfully), that is so much more interesting than figuring out if they love each other or not.
Heck I can even argue why what Ian is experiencing is actually addiction and limerance, BUT I know that to Ian (a traumatized, emotionally stunted orphan) THAT IS LOVE. You expect a guy who's never been to thearpy to know his worth and girlboss this shit - yeah no. He's a lifelong yearner who finally saw the slightest possibility of actualizing the life he always wanted with the man he's always loved and decided to just, bet on that. Simple.
People are projecting their personal ethics and ideals of love onto a fictional character without understanding why he made the decision. Why not consider what love is to Ian?
And yeah ofc express your opinion and be mad cause your ship didn't work out, but the genuine hatred and venom I sense from these comments is just uncalled for.
I wanna kiss you all over for this(respectfully ofc). You've put it better than me I think. Ian unconsciously was always choosing tj. He was always in his heart and mind even when he wasn't there physically. People forget the real nature of love is not just choosing someone for a time but consistently choosing them even when you are fully aware of how flawed they are. It's not about perfection and will never be. Love doesn't come in one form and that's something I feel a lot of readers don't get.
Another thing Ian deciding to give grace and chances to the man he's loved and yearned for two decades should not come as a shock to anyone. They were once each others safe space and that just doesn't disappear because he need to give the nice guy a chance. Jo could be heaven sent but he would still never be enough for Ian. Jo himself acknowledges this that Ian was never entirely focused on them and his mind was always elsewhere.
Muah! ;)
Yes I agree. Love is not one thing and attachment is not held together by “hmmm…who’s nicer to me?” (In the most basic terms).
And I fear you ate this up
Thank you so much
UK, ironically, I actually liked Jo from the start; purely due to preferences ( something about the black hair and blue eyes has me weak in the knees ). And as one does after finishing a love triangle, you read the comments to see the after math. In the beginning I didn't give this story much weight until I saw how deep some people started to analyse the story etc, which prompted me to read it again with a fresh mind which completely changed my opinion about the story and the choices made along the way. But honestly, I thank people like you who share such beautifully whole ideas like this online that may go even deeper than what the authors themselves tried to accomplish! Nonetheless, Jo I shall mourn cuz he was a baddie but TJ is starting to appeal to me too ( guess this is what they call exposure therapy lol) definitely a 10/10 read!
Once again I'm really thankful to you for appreciating my take. It really means a lot. I don't think I'll ever truly comprehend the story better than it's creator but I take pride in being an omniscient reader. I think that makes it easy for me to have subjective and objective opinions coexisting. While reading the story to me it was just so obvious where Ian's heart was and as the story progressed it became more obvious that no matter how good Jo was to Ian he was never the one. The conclusion of that realisation by both Ian and Jo is well done and I think their end given the circumstances of the truth was inevitable. I hope Jo graduates and pursues his dreams and finds love that will choose him always not just for a season.
Absolutely, and I like to believe that Jo actually did help Ian and that was by being an overall good friend who always had his back, and it was very obvious that TJ was always the one in Ian's heart in very decision he made beginning to end.
If this story does follow the author's previous pattern of work then I am guessing the story will conclude on 100 chapters. I hope we'll be getting an author's afterword to see what was her thought process like and perhaps a little peak at how Jo has moved on but that's probably too much to ask as I've rarely seen a love triangle story give a separate story much less side chapters for 2nd leads.
╥﹏╥ speaking truth you both
I grew up being told if the heart and mind aren't in it the body shall eventually follow. That these three always have to move as one. From the very beginning even though Ian's body left tj his heart and mind never left tj. Even in season two his body was with Jo but his mind and heart never left tj otherwise he wouldn't have been reminiscent of their past that much for someone who already had someone else beside him physically. This is all while he tries to build something with jo. To me it just felt like an insidious game of comparison. I don't think Ian was doing it consciously but he still was doing. It's wild to me how much Jo fans love this season as if doyak wasn't playing in y'alls face. That woman is funny and messy for this I'll give her that. This brings us to chapter 80 which I named "Thus the body followed". I remember on here saying that this chapter wasn't just sex but the principles of it. Ian doesn't push tj away when he advances, he's unsure for a split second and then welcomes it wholly. He kisses back and has no resistance to being touched, sucked on and fucked by tj not even caring where they are. Without so many words Ian had just missed touching TJ and being touched by TJ. Whilst at it he's glad he didn't leave a note to Jo telling him he'd come back.
At this point so far in the story if he really loved Jo he could have put up some resistance and made it clear he had someone and he couldn't continue to do this. Old habits die hard I guess.
Maybe it's just me I don't know how you read that part of the story and thought that there weren't any glaring red flags that Ian didn't love Jo. And yes I'm saying he didn't love him cz if he did he'd choose him. To me it was more of fondness than it was love. I know I'm gonna be down voted for this but at least I said my piece