The saying "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be close?" comes to mind when looking at this comment section's views on relationships. Idk why we care so much who's right or wrong in this. People fuck up all the time, and a part of growing is figuring out what fuckups you can forgive and what you can't handle. Moreover both healing and growing into a better person are messy processes. (Looking at BOTH Garam and Jaehyuk.) I'm not saying not to be angry, just that the black and white thinking whether it's shitting on Jaehyuk or Garam is kinda wild.
Also seeing comments like "if you haven't worked through your trauma you shouldn't be in a relationship" makes me incredibly sad, because it's so disdainful both towards people who have gone through stuff and the partners who choose them, like they aren't able to decide who they want to be with for themselves. And often relationship trauma specifically is trauma you can't fully heal unless you are given the opportunity to be in a healthy relationship, even with therapy. If you can't handle being in a relationship with a traumatised person, fine, I don't think you should. But not everyone is like you, and labeling every trauma survivor as unworthy of a relationship is both dehumanising and kicking them when they're down.
The saying "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be close?" comes to mind when looking at this comment section's views on relationships. Idk why we care so much who's right or wrong in this. People fuck up all the time, and a part of growing is figuring out what fuckups you can forgive and what you can't handle. Moreover both healing and growing into a better person are messy processes. (Looking at BOTH Garam and Jaehyuk.)
I'm not saying not to be angry, just that the black and white thinking whether it's shitting on Jaehyuk or Garam is kinda wild.
Also seeing comments like "if you haven't worked through your trauma you shouldn't be in a relationship" makes me incredibly sad, because it's so disdainful both towards people who have gone through stuff and the partners who choose them, like they aren't able to decide who they want to be with for themselves. And often relationship trauma specifically is trauma you can't fully heal unless you are given the opportunity to be in a healthy relationship, even with therapy.
If you can't handle being in a relationship with a traumatised person, fine, I don't think you should. But not everyone is like you, and labeling every trauma survivor as unworthy of a relationship is both dehumanising and kicking them when they're down.