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Jo didn’t understand Ian’s life either. At the beginning he doesn’t understand how someone never got to go camping nor fishing. My poor baby Ian.
And omg yes it would have been possible if Ian’s life changed for the better but instead it was Jo’s life that turned for the worst. And just like you said, Ian really didn’t want that

It was so obvious from the beginning that Ian never truly saw a life with Jo the way he did with TJ. Literally even TJ said that Jo’s easy life was something that Ian didn’t understand. Ian and Jo didn’t get together because Jo was slowly changing for the worst because of Ian and that’s exactly what he didn’t want. Jo was literally going to kill someone. TJ changed for the better and gave up his power for Ian.