//These are literally just thoughts that I want to share
So, Im on chapter 13 now, I found out about the story through Instagram seeing the artist page.I was almost expecting this kind of quality, but due all the respect she's amazing for even drawing all that. And I won't be criticizing the art just because its already impressive enough to do all that.
But its the story that's iffy ig? It's.. uh average? Spiceless? I mean it's build on clichés and feels like a copy mash up version of various cliché Manwhas. Yk like someone who only read those type of stories and felt like writing their own version of it, but just doesn't know how to make it special or remarkable. It reminds me a little of myself when I tried to write my own stories on wattpad at the age of 13.
You can tell that author has little experience and knowledge about storywriting. The pace is pretty fast, there's no time to take in the little bit of characterization that we get (since characterization is already pretty dull/small). The characters action feel sometimes very unbelievable or unnatural, which is why the chemistry also feels a little forced.
There are enjoyable bits in the story but it's overall pretty corny and heavy on clichés (even though she tries to make fun of them from time to time or giving it a twist). I feel like it's still kind of fun to read BECAUSE its so corny and cringe and you can't help but want to know how the author will continue this, even though I'm pretty sure the author's intention was not this at all. I mean I guess that's what makes it so cringe/corny bc as a ready you can kind of tell that author tries very hard rn to make this or that scene serious and packed with emotions.
Okay EDIT: AFTER reading chapter 28 I admit the story definitely got more death and has actually very touching elements and bits. I need to give credit where credit is due. My points still stands though that the execution and pace is still iffy but damn there was improvement! Also the uncensored smut was a bit surprising (in a good way?)
//These are literally just thoughts that I want to share
So, Im on chapter 13 now, I found out about the story through Instagram seeing the artist page.I was almost expecting this kind of quality, but due all the respect she's amazing for even drawing all that. And I won't be criticizing the art just because its already impressive enough to do all that.
But its the story that's iffy ig? It's.. uh average? Spiceless? I mean it's build on clichés and feels like a copy mash up version of various cliché Manwhas.
Yk like someone who only read those type of stories and felt like writing their own version of it, but just doesn't know how to make it special or remarkable. It reminds me a little of myself when I tried to write my own stories on wattpad at the age of 13.
You can tell that author has little experience and knowledge about storywriting. The pace is pretty fast, there's no time to take in the little bit of characterization that we get (since characterization is already pretty dull/small).
The characters action feel sometimes very unbelievable or unnatural, which is why the chemistry also feels a little forced.
There are enjoyable bits in the story but it's overall pretty corny and heavy on clichés (even though she tries to make fun of them from time to time or giving it a twist).
I feel like it's still kind of fun to read BECAUSE its so corny and cringe and you can't help but want to know how the author will continue this, even though I'm pretty sure the author's intention was not this at all. I mean I guess that's what makes it so cringe/corny bc as a ready you can kind of tell that author tries very hard rn to make this or that scene serious and packed with emotions.
Okay EDIT: AFTER reading chapter 28 I admit the story definitely got more death and has actually very touching elements and bits. I need to give credit where credit is due.
My points still stands though that the execution and pace is still iffy but damn there was improvement! Also the uncensored smut was a bit surprising (in a good way?)