Here, in the fluorescent wilderness of the freshman commons, we observe a rare tragedy. The male golden retriever of the top variety, having returned from the caffeinated watering hole of the Starbucks genus, witnesses his mate exchanging phone numbers with a curious neighboring species known as the ‘business major,’ and begins to display the typical behaviors of his species in such situations called "discombobulation". Unaware, of course, that she was merely asking directives on how to secure promotional discounts on goods and services if she were to arrive in a pack.
(... in David Attenborough's voice)
Here, in the fluorescent wilderness of the freshman commons, we observe a rare tragedy. The male golden retriever of the top variety, having returned from the caffeinated watering hole of the Starbucks genus, witnesses his mate exchanging phone numbers with a curious neighboring species known as the ‘business major,’ and begins to display the typical behaviors of his species in such situations called "discombobulation". Unaware, of course, that she was merely asking directives on how to secure promotional discounts on goods and services if she were to arrive in a pack.