i'm not from Japan so I can't really speak on the first part of the question, but if you want something decent and doesn't have a lot of explicit scenes that may have SA, it's so much easier to just search for shounen ai instead!
Maybe Honto Yajuu?
the issue here is that people want sexually explicit stories, but they don't want SA/rape/non-con, so suggesting shounen ai is missing the point. yes to sex, no to rape.
https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/sensei_shokushin_shite_kudasai/
https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/all_about_lust/
https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/love_for_sale_1/
https://www.mangago.me/read-m
https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/zero_lover_1/anga/spinach_bouquet/
Beautiful, thank you so much
https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/spinach_bouquet/
https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/zero_lover_1/
oops, these got mixed up.
here's some extra
https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/even_if_summer_ends/
https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/moratte_kudasai/
https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/psychedelia_1/
this one's not vanilla, but still consensual
https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/the_handsome_salesman_at_work_is_an_ideal_master_1/
I don't think I have ever came across sexually explicit content (yaoi, erotica, porn, etc) from Japan or South Korea that did not contain nonconsensual sex. It got me curious about what the dating culture is like in those places when it comes to consent? I would love to hear from people who grew up in that area. I would also love some recommendations for a yaoi that doesn't contain or show SA.