I couldn't agree more. Male characters are given far more grace because to many female readers, they are attracted to them. They will go far and beyond to gush how cute they are now, and how the father is trying and he changed.
But when it comes to Lydia? Suddenly all this compassion and understanding is gone.
This is exactly what I was thinking, readers have no issue forgiving useless fathers who only show change cause their regressed kid now has some superpower or is super smart and doing stuff that adults should be dealing with, lydia changed and realized her mistake in her past life and took full responsibility the second she returned to past and has been doing so much more for the mc and yeah rarely any of those fathers have a tragic story, like I don’t think I’ve ever seen them have any other trauma than a strict or absent father/mother and they treat mc who’s a literal child like shit and only start loving them cause the child now benefits them in some way, they don’t even ask for forgiveness most of the time cause duh they don’t remember their past lives but readers only need a hot good looking father and rest is forgiven.
I've said before how much I love how layered both Lirica and Lydia (Lili's mother) are, while still understanding why some readers dislike Lydia. Recently, I watched a long video essay arguing that the reason Lydia gets so much hate is because she's a woman, and the more I thought about it, the more I agreed.
In most manhwa, it's usually the father who neglects, abuses, imprisons, or even kills the protagonist in their previous life. Yet readers rarely direct the same level of hatred toward those fathers. It's apparently easier to forgive a handsome deadbeat dad while holding mothers to a much higher moral standard. Many of these fathers don't even have particularly tragic backstories.
What's more, in those stories the regressed protagonist is usually the one forced to change. They have to act far beyond their age and do all the emotional labor so the father can finally start acting like a parent. If they had remained an ordinary child, nothing would have changed.
That's why Lydia stands out. She's the one who chooses to be better.
Lydia was neglected and abused by her mother, inappropriately desired by her father, and married off at just fifteen to an older man who used, degraded, and abandoned her. Left alone with a newborn and overwhelming debt, she had no friends, family, or support system. She turned to alcohol to cope, only to be manipulated by nobles who used her for their political schemes and discarded her when she was no longer useful.
And yet after all of that she never dismisses or justify her own wrong doings. She's fully self aware and constantly reflects and admonishes those actions.