Idk how the illustrated version is gonna go but the novel to this is so, FRENCH KISS. I’...

Idk how the illustrated version is gonna go but the novel to this is so, FRENCH KISS. I’m currently in chapter 58, but I just wanna express how much I adore the Author’s choice of angst! It’s so good ლ(´ڡ`ლ)

I’ll be honest I fucking haaaaaaate the ML. There’s definitely worse ML’s out there don’t get me wrong, in fact I’d say he’s one of the good ones! Real nice dude! I just fucking HAAAAAaaaaaaateeeee him, and it’s all because he actually DOES like the FL even before her ‘death’. Which is SO IMPORTANT TO HIS CHARACTER AND ALSO WHY I DISLIKE HIMMMMMM.

There are a couple of moments where the FL is very blunt with a couple of the characters and she tells them her real thoughts, and there’s this one part that really struck me in the feels. It’s when she finally shows her ‘real’ self to Concubine Cleo and she says, “Not a single one of you asked why I jumped.”. That line was cold, real cold, because after she ‘died’ and matures, the people around her FINALLY start showing up, acting like they care. Yet not a SINGLE PERSON asked why she got injured, not even the supposed ML WHO LIKES HER ┑(￣Д ￣)┍

It’s crazy how even the ML is aware of his own treatment to the FL, HIS FATHER AND SISTER know about his treatment to the FL, EVEN THE EMPRESS KNOWS!!! They all know that despite ML having some affection for the FL, the ML was NOT going to chose her because she was a nuisance, and if it weren’t for the fact that she grew colder AND saved Vivi he wouldn’t have amused the idea of marrying her.

For the other cast, such as, the Empress (I quite like her) she’s expressed to the ML that her reasoning for not giving the love starved princess any attention was simply because she couldn’t handle that responsibility, as she’s already in a power struggle with Concubine Cleo. The Queen has no plans on being the FL’s mother now that she’s matured, since that would make her no better than Concubine Cleo, only loving her when she’s useful. Not to mention the FL no longer wants the Queen’s pity, and no longer has a use for a mother’s love. The Queen feels guilty towards the FL, but she sticks to her decisions and I like that! (She also helps her out occasionally)

So when the ML comes over to the Queen so that he can have an excuse to talk to the FL, the Queen is like, “Well, Well, Well, you weren’t like this before Mr. Heir to the Dukedom. You never gave your FIANCÉ this much attention before ┑(￣Д ￣)┍ I WONDER WHAT CHANGED”. Which GAGS the ML, BECAUSE HE REALIZES THAT HE’S BEING A HYPOCRITE.

For me, it’s just the fact that the ML likes the FL before the incident but never really cared (in my opinion don’t shoot) for her that irks me, he never took initiative to do anything with her or explain himself, he already determined that she wouldn’t be his wife because she wasn’t worth it (which is valid I’m not blaming him, FL’s personality was NOT suited for a Duchy). But what he did do was give her false hope (as he was trying to lay low until they could find a way to annul the engagement). The ML never really protected the FL from anything, only enduring her obsession and wrath.

Which all COMPLETELY CHANGES when the FL has her personality change! She stops pestering ML, starts becoming more independent, gives him important info, and saving Vivi (I love Vivi). Only then does he start initiating any romance. Which I don’t blame him for, I REPEAT I DONT BLAME HIM FOR SWITCHING UP! The man has his own problems and responsibilities that he has to go through, FL at the time was immature and foolish (not her fault either), the FL was just someone he shouldn’t choose. But at the same time, that’s the whole reason why his love feels so shallow (︶︿︶). Finally allowing himself to go after her, after she’s become someone worthy, which just so happens to be AFTER she’s already died because nobody loved her.


Forgive any bad grammar this was written in the heat of the moment