i don't think every person in this world has the kind of resilience you have. or other people have that survive these traumatic experiences and turn out to be loving and empathetic people. you can't even imagine how many traumatized people like him exist. he is not psychopathic, but he definitely has some antisocial traits. he is obviously extremely mentally ill and there are certain predispositions that lead people to develop these certain traits. your trauma COULD have made you like this. not every person is capable to self-reflect. people with a possible personality disorder (it wasn't mentioned, but hella obvious) that are on the extreme side of the spectrum DO NOT have this self-reflection. they don't even think that there is something wrong with them. part of it is also that even if they knew, they wouldn't want to change it or wouldn't have the necessary resources to change it. i'm really glad you turned out to be a reflected person that can take accountability though!!
also, with "personality disorder" i wasn't talking about you, i was talking about the ML. (just for clarification)
this also doesn't excuse the fact that he sa'd the MC. in NO way
but it is more likely to abuse someone when a person has no sense of remorse, no social and moral awareness and is completely self-absorbed. some people do not have the capability to feel what is wrong or right. they solely act on what they WANT. basically completely delusional
i was treated similarly-worse by my biological mother. also tried really hard to change myself, acting calm and mature so that i could be loved and have an anxious-avoidant attachment....but i didn't become a psychopathic rapist?? and when a friend or partner pointed something out to me, i reflected on it & how my traumatic childhood made me develop that trait, then tried to change? where's my "you have a pitiable backstory so every cruel thing you do can be excused" card XD really pmo when authors do this. feels like justification instead of explanation. we are more than our starting circumstances.