Maybe someone of you will relate to this

Okay, here we go.

I've had a lot on my mind this week, and since we're all part of this community, I wanted to share some thoughts. Maybe some of you will relate, and maybe some of you won't. I think when you have opinions that aren't very popular, or you notice things that don't seem to bother most readers, it can be intimidating to talk about them because you feel like you'll be the only one. But I've found that even with some of my less popular takes, there's usually at least one or two people who agree. So maybe I'm not completely alone.
Anyway, here's what's been on my mind.

I love romance. I'm a romance girl through and through. Sometimes I'll be watching an action series, reading a thriller, or consuming a story that isn't romance-focused, and I'll find myself wishing there was at least a little bit of romance. Not because every story needs it, but because sometimes the chemistry is right there and it feels like it would fit so well.
The problem is that the more romance I've consumed over the years, the harder it has become for me to enjoy it.

I think once you've read enough books, watched enough movies and dramas, and spent enough time engaging with stories, you start figuring out exactly what you like and what you don't. Sometimes it's specific things, and sometimes it's broader patterns. The downside is that eventually you start noticing the same plots, the same character dynamics, and the same tropes being recycled over and over again.
I love when authors take a familiar trope and give it a fresh twist. I remember reading a Wattpad story years ago where, instead of the typical "best friend's brother" trope, it was the best friend's cousin. It's a small change, but it felt refreshing because it wasn't exactly the same thing I'd seen a hundred times before.

I've also noticed that as I've gotten older, a lot of romance tropes that I used to tolerate have become things I actively dislike.

For example, I've completely lost interest in the whole "she can fix him" narrative. The bad boy who becomes a good man because of love. The toxic guy who gets chosen over the healthier option because the author wants to give him a redemption arc. The love triangle where the emotionally manipulative character wins because he's more dramatic.

I just can't get invested in those stories anymore.
I think everyone has their own idea of what chemistry and love should look like. For me, love is built on mutual respect. It's not about power imbalances, possessiveness, obsession, control, or emotional dependency. Because of that, a lot of romance stories simply don't work for me.

That's probably why I've never really been a dark romance reader. I've read some dark romance before, but a lot of newer stories don't even feel romantic to me anymore. They just feel abusive. Of course, everyone has different preferences, and that's completely fine. It's just not something I enjoy.

Another thing I've realized is that this doesn't just apply to romance tropes. It also applies to how characters are written.
I've never really understood the idea that a character has to be deeply flawed, extremely relatable, or have a tragic backstory in order to be interesting. Personally, I don't need to relate to a character to enjoy them. A character can have a completely different life experience from mine and still be compelling to read about.

Likewise, I don't think every character needs a devastating backstory. They don't all need to be orphans, survivors of severe bullying, victims of betrayal, or people carrying years of trauma. Those stories absolutely have their place, but sometimes it feels like writers rely on tragedy as a shortcut to make readers care.

The reality is that not everyone goes through something life-altering, and that doesn't make them less interesting. Some people have relatively normal lives and still have fascinating personalities, relationships, goals, and struggles. When a writer can create a character who doesn't have an overwhelmingly tragic past and still make them engaging, relatable, or memorable, I actually find that more impressive.

Maybe that's also why I get frustrated when stories introduce certain character choices that feel unnecessary. There have been so many times when I've really liked a character, only for the story to take them in a direction that completely changes how I see them.
For example, in Lucky Paradise, I really liked the top and I was happy he was chosen in the end. But then there were chapters, especially in some of the side stories, where he treated his friend horribly and almost got physical with him. After that, I found myself liking him a lot less.

Or in Dangerous Convenience Store. I never finished it, but I know the top disappears for a while, comes back, and by that point the bottom is dating someone else. Maybe the boyfriend wasn't perfect, and maybe readers can justify why the relationship wasn't great, but the fact remains that he was still in a relationship. Then the story introduces cheating because we're supposed to root for the main couple anyway. That completely took me out of it.

I think that's part of the reason I struggle with a lot of romances these days. It's not necessarily that the characters are flawed. I actually like flawed characters. It's when the story expects me to overlook behavior that I personally find difficult to excuse just because they're the main couple or because they're destined to end up together.
There are so many stories where I'll really enjoy a character in the beginning, and then they'll do one thing, or the relationship dynamic will shift in a certain direction, and suddenly I'm asking myself, "Why did the author have to do that?"
That's also why I don't usually enjoy relationships built on major imbalances. The classic example is the older, wealthier, more experienced man paired with the extremely naive, innocent girl. He's her first love, her first relationship, sometimes even her first everything, while he's had years of experience.
That dynamic has always made me uncomfortable because it feels like the relationship starts with one person having significantly more power than the other.

I also dislike when authors use a character's first romantic or sexual experience as a way of permanently tying them to someone. Sometimes it creates this feeling that the character can't move on because that person was their first. As a reader, it can make the relationship feel less like a choice and more like a trap.

That's also part of why I'm not usually drawn to first-love stories. Sometimes they're cute, but I don't like when "first love" gets treated as if it should outweigh everything else, including unhealthy behavior. Being someone's first doesn't mean they should automatically be their forever person.

All of this has made it surprisingly difficult to find romance stories that I genuinely enjoy these days.
One of the last romances I really loved was Guildmate Next Door. It was cute. There was some tension, some misunderstandings, and a bit of the enemies-to-lovers energy, but it never crossed into the kind of toxicity that completely takes me out of the story. I also really enjoyed Maybe Netkama Punch for similar reasons.

I think people sometimes assume that healthy relationships are boring, but I don't agree. A story doesn't need extreme toxicity, obsession, manipulation, or constant drama to create tension. You can still have conflict, chemistry, emotional stakes, and excitement without making the relationship itself unhealthy.

So lately I've been thinking a lot about all of this. Maybe it's just part of getting older. Maybe my tastes have changed. But I've definitely reached a point where a lot of romance media just isn't hitting the same way anymore, and it's frustrating because I still love romance as a genre.

Anyway, that's my ramble for today. I have another related topic I've been thinking about, but that's a conversation for another post.