Hi, how are you doing? So Im also friends with someone with ASPD and reading your text I noticed that you dont seem to know when its an ASPD behaviour or just a bad person behaviour.
As someone whos friends with an ASPD I came to understand that yes, they have a tendency of manipulation and to do mind games with you, but if theyre being properly taking care of their disorder, they wont be acting like your friend. They wont be getting angry that easily (they cant feel empathy, guilt or remorse, so they dont anger easily as someone who literally dont care), they wont be fighting you that much (again, they dont care, so they wont waste their time arguing to prove their point of view), and overall they just wont treat you that badly because rationally they know that if they do that, theyll be without any support in their life, and for them to succeed (again, since they dont care about others all they think about is how they can improve their own life) they need support from others.
For someone with ASPD its all about how they can improve their own life, and having friends and socializing is also a way of improvement of their lives, so they usually wont treat their friends badly if it means theyll suffer the consequences of it.
From what I can see and uderstand about this disorder and your comment abt your friend, dont stay in this friendship for pity, they literally DONT CARE about you, and they wont be sad if left alone (theyll only mourn the fact that their life will be harder because of it). Your friend is the kind of person with ASPD that choose to act this awful way with you. If he truly thought youd add in his life he would treat you well because that would be beneficial for him.
Dont be fooled just because he portrays himself as a lonely lil thing to gain your pity. If he really is an ASPD, he couldnt give a fuck abt your feelings
Also, Im not saying that because I think "being friends with an ASPD is awful", because its not. My friend is a really nice friend even tho they cant feel empathy, guilt or remorse. Actually, I think they are even better because of it, as since they cant feel these emotions and dont have an understanding about what we really feel, they have to work double or triple to help me and others.
My friend will help and be there for me not because they are moved about my situation, but because they know Im a person worthy of their attention and of their respect.
Having an ASPD as a friend is understanding that respect and loyalty is sometimes more important than love. They help us analyse rationally and give us time to process. When Im sad theyll say comforting words not because theyre moved by my tears, but because they think I deserve it and are loyal as to not break my trust that theyll care for me as I care for them. So again, dont be fooled by bad people, theyre just bad because they choose to be bad, and not because of their disorder
Hello, I'm writing this to be sure and be cautious for the newer readers reading this. As someone who is currently friends with someone with ASPD, it is unfortunately hard to be there for them, especially if you are an empathic person. My friend is easily getting angry even when you joke for a little bit, especially when playing games with them. I once had a conversation with him, and he told me that he actually doesn't feel empathy towards people who have gone through little things. He also told me he lacks understanding of people. He used to manipulate me by making me feel bad for him for his situationship and knowing he doesn't feel anything about it but proceeding to tell me I should back him up as a "friend of his." We fought countless times, and the situation gone really bad when I told him, "Does he not really understand what he was doing to me?" I cried a lot because of him. He pretended to say he was sorry so many times but he still made the same mistake when I advised him to not do it again but proceeded to hurt me once again. People told me that I should leave him, but for some reason I feel really bad for people who are going through something that they are struggling with. Nowadays he has started to be an entitled asshole and is obviously obsessed with me and gatekeeping me from others because I'm the only person who texted him and cares for him. Right now by the situation, I'm slowly getting away from his hold, and I had to break my empathy towards him.