beta
Hi, i’m turning 22 this year and for my sexual orientation has been confusing me up for the past few years. I don’t really like labels my sexuality but mostly people guessed that I’m lesbian or either pansexual.
First when I discovered my sexuality as a pansexual back in 2021 after i broke up with my ex who cheated on me, and i was pretty much fallen into depression for a long period of time.
Then I met someone that made me feel happy again, that was a trans man, he was sweet to me and first but I fell in love with him when I was barely hitting 18 and he’s 27 at that time (Yes I am aware I was groomed cuz I was pretty much young and naive) He liked me back and we pretty much didn’t last long because he was rushing our relationships into marriage. We broke up and I decided I don’t feel like love is real anymore.
By 2023, I started my new life avoiding love in college but instead I had a crush on a girl who look butch/masc. Things aren’t going well because i was afraid they start loosing interest in me if I do like someone, instead of liking them, i’d rather just admired them from afar.
Sudden change on my second semester on my second year, my friend introduced me a guy and ive been pretty much testing myself if i still like guys or not so I decided why not introduce himself for it? Turns out he was a narcissist asshole who was full of himself thinking i would give him a chances. That situation settle with confrontation of course. After that, I went for another guy I met in… tinder app ofc… We hit off, we talked about sex life and all that like we understood each other needs but when we first met, I feel sick and disappointed because I don’t really feel the spark in us, and more likely I feel ick. So of course we disclose our feelings and thoughts and decide not to contact each other anymore.
But somehow I still attracted to something beautiful, no matter the gender but I still can’t get the fact I had the idea of dating them makes me feel wary. I love masculine girls especially because they actually make me feel nervous and same goes of guys who have a feminine features .
I am maybe avoidant, it’s just when I’m trying to like someone makes me feels empty inside.
I'd lean more towards ace and demi than anything, also ace overall doesn't have one firm meaning it's a spectrum
Could you be cupioromantic? Liking the idea of romance but is unable to feel it for another person?
The thing about just wanting to admire them from afar but when it becomes a close intimate relationship it feels empty I feel like you might be, it’s on aro spectrum.
Hi I may struggle with something related to my trauma, maybe I’m a weirdo at this point but rapeplay/rape in any manga/manhwa always turned me or idk maybe some of them do not really turned me on since it’s wrong when characters vulnerability things to other character and i can imagine that i got raped like this. i hate this feeling kinda way and im ashamed to share this to my therapist or friends. is there a person related as this?
I dont relate but its normal so just like whatever u want lol. People are just weird patronising moralfags nowaday
While I second that I don't relate, since anything to do with rape isn't for me.... if it's in response to similar trauma you've experienced then it's normal. And sometimes people just have certain things that they like, weird or not . Also you should also never feel ashamed to express concerns regarding things like this to your therapist especially if it might be taking a negative toll on you.
LETS GO